I started typing this yesterday but didn't post it. Then I read Sexkitten's TOUGH LUCK post this morning.
It doesn't take much to put me off something and when it's something I'm already less than inclined towards, it takes even less.
So as I sit here and listen to my flatmate and his girlfriend of 5 years argue bitterly over something as trivial as him wanting to watch a rugby game, I wonder, is it worth it?
She doesn't live in london so they dont see each other often; maybe two weekends a month. He goes over there sometimes, but mostly she comes here. And everytime she's here, I hear them argue. Everytime.
I'm sure they were happy once. I'm sure there was a time when they didnt fight. When everything was bliss. When it seemed as though love had conquered all. But all I see now is bitterness. fighting, backbiting, pain, crying, frustration.
My flatmate and his girlfriend aren't peculiar either. My other flatmate and her long term boyfriend,as far as I know, fight weekly. But they're long distance between the US and the UK so they have a different problem. I have friends as well (not many, couples tend to encourage coupledom too enthusiastically), and they dont seem that happy in their relationships. He's cheating, she's cheating, they're both cheating. You go over to visit them and the air in the room is so tense you're afraid to speak for fear ur words would fall to the ground and shatter.
No one tells you all of this going in. There's no contract to sign. No fine print. We basically just give away our most valued possession, in hopes that it will be reciprocated. And reciprocated fairly. No guarantees.
Maybe Sexkitten's philosophy is the right one. Keep things uncomplicated. You're dick, she's pussy. Or vice versa. But then, this still poses the problem of one of y'all catching feelings. Which is why I was so ecstatic to stumble accross this
And looking seriously at this, and at myself. I find that maybe i'm not as much of a risk taker as I would like to believe. Because to be honest, risks like this, scare the shit out of me. Especially now.
I have recently been caught up in a fairytale of my own. Maybe this was the wakeup call I need. So, someone tell me. Relationships, are they worth it?
Stay sexy, in, and out of bed.
Scribbles the Bachelor
p.s. is there a reason why there's a booty call agreement and not a relationship agreement? maybe because one is more valid than the other? just a question
14 comments:
im first..yipee..
my 2 cents..are relationships worth it? Hell yeah..the right ones that is. The truth is relationships take hard work, when u meet d right person its easier for u to do d work, if u r not inclined/motivated to work on d relationship..then u need to move on. It is however important to me that pple move on leaving the other person with their dignity intact (especially if it isn't a mutual break up). And i'll say when going into a relationship have minimal expectations and keep a bit of ur heart to urself till they prove they r worthy of all of it.. i cld go on..but this is already a mini post
why its worth it?? cos if in a rltnship with d right person u r happier, more fulfilled and optimistic..nothing beats d feeling of knwing smone has ur back no matter what n that its u n them against d world if need be.
lmao..
Pre-nup for booty-calls as well...? "Wonders shall never end"
It's easier to make your own rules as you go along isn't it?
You have to be in a good relationship to appreciate it.. That's when it becomes worth it..
Other times when it's arguments and all that, they're probably thinking they're working thru the bad times.. when all they are doing is extending the time it'll take them to meet someone they're really right for.
I think its worth it- but only if one is with right person.
Some people unfortunately remain with d wrong person bcos they cant bare to be by themself.
Its hard work- but like everything else in life, nothing worth having, comes easy, what you put in it, is what you get outta it.
Is it worth it? I look at my parents and know its all so worth it!!
For a selfish diva like myself i know that its HARD work though..
Booty Call Agreement is bull...seriously, not one person would follow that to the tee and feelings tend to be caught that's why Booty Calls aren't for Shona, either I get it or I just don't...I rolls like that!..lol
lol. i would say that everything is a risk and every relationship have their own battles. if you were to ask those couples, they would tell you that the good times make up for the bad. as a word of advice, when falling in love, try to know what kind of personality you're falling in love with. do your personalities match or complement each other? if they don't, forget it. and please ignore all those crap about "when you have different personalities, the relationship is never boring". piece of crap. lol .FIRST TIMER
I guess it's worth it...only when you enter into it for the right reasons and the right way...me thinks!...
simplidivine
hehe, you can be first on here anytime :-P. i guess you're right. it's always good to know someone has your back no matter what. to be honest, by yesterday my flatmate and his girlfriend were cool, sitting on the loveseat, watching the game, joking laughing. I know he loves her, and she loves him and they seemed..right. In that moment it seemed worth it..but only in that moment.
Roc
yes o. Booty call pre-nup.
you might have a point there. I think what it is is people get comfortable in those situations and they really dont want to have to start the process of "looking" again.
Confessions
maybe in some cases. I know for a fact that what my flatmates girlfriend is putting in is not what she's getting out of it. I've heard the way she complains and I would've classed her a nag if I didnt know what she does for him. I also know what he does behind her back. But he says he loves her and I'm sure he does...but still I dont think they're happy together.
Shona
lol i'm sure you do. I look at my parents, and they've been together 25 years. I know they've made a lot of sacrifices, there's been a lot of give and take. But the more I look at them, the more I realise that my mother was made for my father. She's about the only woman I know who would tolerate his nuances.
Bibi
Welcome to my blog! Carrying on from the point I was making with Shona, my mother's personality complements my dads. She's calm, slow to action, contemplating. He speaks before he thinks, says the first thing that comes to mind. So I guess that's why they work together. I could just imagine if he had married my aunt. Phew!
NoLimit
right way, right reasons. I know what u mean. but body no be wood. u kno lol
ok, I seriously had to look for the comment section..almost put it on the lst post..
Sexkitten's policy is great but some days you wake up and want someone to ask how you are, are you hungry...the little things tht dont come with a booty call....
It is worth it...I see the glow in my dad's eyes when my mum makes a special meal for him and we are only given to taste, he is a harder man but I see that look on his face..
Its worth it if its the right person. But the thing is how do you even know the right person? everyone is right till you guys start having problems, or till he starts cheating!
I'LL TELL YOU THIS.....its so UNkoko-like......buhhh...*sigh*
YES RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORTH IT! so worth it.......that PEOPLE NEVER GIVE UP ON FINDING TRUE LOVE! one bad fruit dont mess the whole basket! BELIEVE THAT!!!!
AS MANY GREAT MEN AS I HAVE DATED......AS MANY THRILLING ADVENTURES.....AS MUCH AS I LOVED MIND GAMES AND TEASING AND SEDUCING AND........
nothing is sweeter than OWNING *one* GREAT MAN...ALL TO MYSELF.....AND BEING CONFIDENT IN MY ABILITY TO MAKE HIM HAPPY. i walked many roads to FINALLY get to he's DOOR.......but heck......THAT JOURNEY WAS SOOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!
P.S: DONT GIVE UP UR BACHELOR LIFESTYLE ANYTIME SOON THO.....like i sed..i have plans for you***** wink****
p.s;xoxo
I think it's definitely worth it. Even my sex-buddy is relationship material! In fact, I've been looking at him in a different light these days.
And I am willing to put the time, effort and energy into someone if I feel he's worth it.
I have too much love to give to be content for long with just a fuck-buddy. I want the real thing.
i think it is worth it. you wouldnt know until u try..
i've never been in a relationship for more than a year..i've never reached that point where it gets bitter and ish..
im no expert but i believe relationships r worth it..obviously u have to be with the right person and y'all have to be committed and dedicated and all that good stuff..i've seen some relationships last for donkey years and the spark is still very much there..gives me hope!
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