They have finally realised their true calling. I've been trying to tell them for years now but they didn't seem to be getting it. But it seems they've made some worthwhile resolutions this 2009. They've finally agreed to do the one noble thing they were put on this earth to do.
Introduce me to their succulent, delectable, scrumptious female friends.
Lol. I think I made it sound like I want to eat them from that....well I guess that's not too far from the truth. I have to admit things were getting a little dry on the poon trail, I mean there's the odd spattering of women here and there, but being a busy, hard-working Cityboy, its not nearly enough to feed my appetite.
Enter the cousins...
One cousin remarked to me early this year at church; "New year, new rules". Which I translated as "I'm done blocking you". Which makes sense. I mean, they keep trying to talk me out of my philandering ways. What better way to break the trend than introducing me to a good church girl...at least that's what I told her.
Her sisters have also fallen in line, introducing me, extolling my virtues; IM OFFICIALLY BEING PIMPED BABY!! Most of this at church too. Maybe I feel a little guilty, but I did a very good thing this last week. I'm allowed to be bad. Heh
One of said sisters was asking me the other day, 'why don't you have a girlfriend? As fine as you r, aren't any girls interested?' Her words, not mine. I laughed and answered that there were offers, I was just really selective and blah blah bullshit blah. And she said, ' that girl you have in your head, she doesn't exist; nobody is perfect'.
I simply said 'ok, find me a decent girl then' and as such she was recruited into my 'pimp squad'.
Another cousin of mine happens to know a lot of girls who i swear should model professionally and although she's been slacking in the past, she's recently coming thru. I came home one day last week to a VERY pleasant surprise. Hot HOT anonymous girl asleep in my bed!!!
Bachelor: erm, hello
Anonymous girl: *stretches in that annoyingly sexy way you girls do, and smiles* hi
I swear I was about t strip off my work clothes and jump in bed with her when my cousin walked in the room. Everybody join me and say 'BOOOOOOOOO'.
It goes without saying that I have a new favorite cousin :). Because of this same cousin, something very VERY exciting is happening tomorrow. I MIGHT blog about it, who knows. But I will say this, I must be the luckiest man that ever lived, after Heffie of course.
Now, if i could just instill this new way of thinking into some of my female friends, esp the one who has been withholding a certain email address...
Stay sexy, in and out of bed
The Bachelor
disclaimer: certain sequences and dialogue have been varied from fact for dramatic effect. The story however and all it's components, remain true.
8 comments:
See you getting pimped, fine boy no pimples!!!
Hope the right woman steps into your life.
So what special shenagagans are you up to tomorrow?..spill the beans!
Any chance your cousins are up for inheritance?? Cos my cousins 'too dey dull me'.
I've told them they'll be up on eBay anytime soon!!
oh am sooo sorry..I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.....our date for tomorrow is CANCELED...i overbooked.....HEHE!!!!!!!!
P.S: i wonder what you have going on tomoro...that has got you feeling lucky......IF ITS ANOTHER MENAGE A TROIS.......lady koko will teach you a lesson...*YES THATS A THREAT*
P.P.S:on a sweeter note.....*am contemplating*XOXO
@wordmerchant...i hope so too, i'm obviously having way too much fun for my own good..not complaining tho
@Roc..sorry in these troubled times, i'm holding on to the very few investments that are generating returns
@Koko..."teach you a lesson"...does that involve spanking? please say that involves spanking..it's not another menage..at least that's not the PLAN.
p.s. stop contemplating and start copulating!
lol @ the disclaimer...ashewo oshi..
dont ur cousins know they are starting trouble??
and u want lady koko to teach u a lesson abi?
-Afro-
my cousins believe they are helping their family..that's all they need to know :)
ps. lady koko can teach me whatever she wants to teach me :-P
guy i feel u...
though I once hooked up wiv a friend of my cuz....she was WAY older dan me...bt my cuz didn't knw...
neheheehehehe....
First timer and OMG! I love this blog. You are too funny. My cousins are always begging me to pimp them. I keep a tight looking crew of females so I can't blame them. LOL
Let me catch up on other entires :).
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