I know, I know. Mr Dangles B M* Legs should have clued me to that fact a couple of decades ago.

But that's not what I mean. All my life I've prided myself on being a man working with a woman's mind chilling in a mans body.

Ok, that might need a quick explanation.

Growing up with 4 girls plus my grandma (making 5 females) and having the ever inquisitive and observant mind that I have, I learned to understand women, I learned to think like they think and I learned to understand their hidden meanings.

But most importantly, since I still remained unequivocally male, I learned to see both sides of the coin. Male issues from a female perspective, female issues from a male perspective and so on.

Most relevant to today, I prided myself on not being a subscriber to the double standard. Logic precludes it. And I am nothing if not conclusively logical. Until now.

It's LOML. Logic throws itself out the window when LOML walks in the room. Everything is different with her.

I find myself saying things I would never say, doing things I would never do, thinking things I would never think...feeling things I've never felt.

And now, as stupid as this may sound, I find myself starting to understanding the double standard where a man feels like he can do whatever he wants, but his woman needs to remain "pure".

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that way, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when she told me this morning (about midnight in her time zone) that she had a male visitor over.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for any amount of time will know that LOML also reads this blog, and thus, knows all about my numerous...ahem. I can hear the ladies asking now "Ehen?! How do you think she feels reading the stuff u write about?"

Maybe you're right. Or maybe men are just made extra insecure. Or maybe..

Or maybe something needs to be done...forget all this "when the fates align" nonsense. Truth is, I love this woman.  I really do. Maybe I need to make a move, take a stand, make a decision.

Or maybe I'm just being a man...

*B M = Between My

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I promise I'll continue the Hunter story soon...Maybe today (I have the story in my head, just a matter of putting it on paper)

LOML is in Nig at the moment. I haven't seen her in over a year now and I miss her. I really hope her bid to do her Masters in London works out. But that's not the crux of the gist.

Popsie will be on his way to Nig this weekend...but let's start at the beginning. (This is why I don't write about LOML often, it tends to be disjointed and random - we have so much history...but I will try and make this as coherent as possible).

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that LOML and I are (and have been for a long time) family friends. There is a mutual trust/respect/affection that exists between our parents. Also, her parents love me, my parents love her... you can see where this is going.

Usually, I'm not into girls that my parents want me to be into (but you know this already), however, it's very different with LOML. I've known her since I was about 8, didn't actually speak to her till I was about 16 (for some reason all this time I thought she was dating my oldest friend Kay...but apparently I thought wrong :) - ok I've gone off on a tangent again)

Anyway, LOML and I didn't start really getting close until we were about 18ish. I was in MA (I know I said Michigan before...my weak attempt at misdirection), she was in...(I don't know if I have permission to disclose that info...but she was far away sha).

I remember vividly the first time I thought about her in a non-platonic sense. I had actually been telling her (get this) about a girl I was crushing on..I think I may have written something (a poem) and after she read it/or after I was done telling her, and she was done encouraging me to "go for it", she said "I think I could see myself falling for you".

Now, I had always had a mild crush on LOML but had always ignored it (like I said, I thought she and Kay had a thing). When she said that though, I thought about it for a second, then dismissed it.

Not too long after that, the term LOML came about. I don't know who coined it or which one of us used it first, but it was there. It was mainly a friendship term at the time. We remained platonic. Over time, however, it started to develop into something deeper. We were friends, with the benefit of knowing that we would always have each other. She slowly became the most important person in my life.

When I inevitably moved to England, we stayed in touch, and when my parents found out, they couldn't conceal their elation. We maintained we were just friends. The fact that she came to England a couple of years ago for a few days (under a week) that happened to include my birthday more than raised a few eyebrows.

Last summer, this happened and caused me to realise the depth of my feelings for her, and I have wanted her close since. We speak a lot more often, and I have since told her that I love her. Before you all get over-excited, we will not be engaging in the futile practice of an LDR.

I've talked about how my parents keep pestering me about the "girlfriend". "Where is she, who is she? blah blah blah". Well, now they append the question "or is it LOML?" with a wink and a twinkle.

So now, LOML is in Nig and Popsie will be in Nig by the weekend. Last week we were talking and he said (I still hope he was joking) he will interrogate her when he sees her. I begged him not to embarass the poor girl. And then, on the weekend, he told me he had spoken to her parents. Her dad had said  "LOML always knows what's going on in your family, I wonder why that is" and her mom had remarked something to the tune of "Don't you know she's already part of the Scribbles family?"

I couldn't contain my laughter. Now, the old man has a renewed resolve to interrogate her. Well, he has 1 day to do it in. She leaves the day after he arrives. I wish him luck! (not necessarily the good kind)

I hope this post wasn't too spasmodic. But as a random "finally", anyone that knows me knows I LOVE watches. I'm a watch connoisseur, if you will. I remarked to a friend that "Shoes are to most girls as watches are to Scribbles" (not that I have that many watches anyway). But I say that to say this. Look at the watch LOML got me for graduation last year!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="377" caption="My fave watch!"][/caption]

I bet you love her too now dontcha?

I want to introduce you to the love of my life...or as i affectionately call her, LOML. I've known her for as long as I can remember but we only recently began to get really close and started to realise that there existed something between us. She is probably the person I care most about in this world and the yardstick no other woman can measure up against and I wish I had started this blog earlier, so I could have introduced her in all her glory. But this is the way it's turned out. She will remain nameless as will everyone who I talk about on this blog, but u can refer to her as LOML. The one I esteem greatly and love deeply. The most amazing woman that ever lived.

So, I said I wished I had introduced her earlier. That's because as I speak of her today, it is under a cloud of humanness. She recently committed an error of judgement that hurt me. And I tried to understand why I was hurt. Our relationship is very complex and open and as such she is free to do as she pleases as am I. I've never had a problem in the past with her being involved with a guy because we have an understanding in our relationship...we remain LOMLs. But this time was different, and I cant go into detail about it because it's really none of ur business, but there's a line....

Anyway, she asked me to forgive her, and at first, not feeling like I had a right to be hurt in the first place, I didnt know how. But she is the love of my life and I didnt need to think about it that long. I now know why I was hurt, and I know why I must forgive her and in my pensiveness I picked up a pen and wrote:


You

You
Who I esteem greatly
Who I hold closest to my heart
You
With your sarcastic nature
You
Who I have everything and nothing in common with
You
Who is simultaneously totally right and totally wrong for me
I love your cynicism
I love your wit
I love the fact that we agree that our parents are the single
most stressing factor in our lives
I admire everything about u
And I saw no fault in u
So when u told me, I felt something break inside of me
For I had never imagined a weakness in you
My mind painted a perfect picture of u
And this ill-placed brush stroke like graffiti accross the face of art
It perturbed my soul
So when I told you I was hurting, it wasnt really your doing
Because I now realise that no human being can live up to the perfection
of the picture I painted of you
And you are human
So I forgive you
I forgive your humanness
And I forgive myself for trying to take that away from you
You
Who I still hold nearest to my heart
You
Who is still the single most important person in my life
You
Who remains the undying love of my life,
And I still love you, now more than ever