Hong Kong is a smoking hottie. I had a slight crush on her last year while at uni, but it was complicated. Her (crazy) friend seemed obsessed with me. Nightly 4am calls because she "just wants to talk to me", but she had nothing to say... yea I wasn't trying to date a 13 year old. Plus I wasn't interested in her. I was even less interested in carrying a conversation i hadn't initiated at 4am. But I digress.

Hong Kong, on the other had was the good kind of crazy, the fun kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that causes her to get a few of her girls together to jump me and put hoop earrings through my (no longer used but still open) earlobe piercings. She was fun, she was intelligent, and she had a killer bod which she LOVED to show off; very low cut tops that stopped short of her navel, shorts, minidresses and the like. But she still looked stunning in a t-shirt and sweats. So yes, I was crushing a little, but my aversion to drama dictated that I let it go.

Bucharest cancelled a date last monday and I called Hong Kong, we chilled. She's put on a couple of pounds, but still looks fantastic. According to her, she had fun and we should do it again, soon, and often. She's also no longer friends with crazy juvie chick. So... We'll see.

Shanghai is a complicated one as well. For a couple of reasons. One is that she is friends with Hong Kong. I don't think they're that close, but they would at least make small talk at a gathering. I actually debated putting her in here because when I wrote the first part of Options, Shanghai was definitely in the running; she was actually half the reason I started writing it. Now, however, not so much. A few reasons:

• She is trying to be a devout muslim. Now you all know how I feel about religious women.


• She is a virgin. Made that mistake once before. Never again.


• This is going to sound kinda mean. I met up with her last week (I had missed her). When I left, she texted me

"You make me feel weird. When I don't see you I'm fine. But when I do see you, I want to see more of you"

That was great, except that the more I saw of her, the less I wanted to see. This isn't due to a dislike of her by any means. There is a chemistry, an undercurrent that runs between us. When I'm around her, I want to touch her, hold her, kiss her. But every logical bone in my body screams against it, leading to a lot of frustration. So I think it's better to close the chapter, compartmentalize the emotion. Determine in my head that it's never going to happen. So, I guess, we wont see.

You already know of the hotness that is Sin(yes, its a city, fictional or no). Long toned legs, soft chocolate skin, firm DDs and an ass that was created on an OCD day. Yes, I think I may have mentioned the hotness. Sin is newly single. We have a history, we have chemistry and she keeps asking for another "massage". She's a little joker, that one. Again, she's out-city, which dampens my motivation a bit. But ...We'll see

And then there was Frisco. Frisco is my current squeeze and, to be honest, is head and shoulders ahead of the rest. Quite literally. She's nearly 5ft10. She's this chick. But we sorted that. Legs that literally go on forever, like f'real they never end, miniscule waist and the cutest little booty. She's totes hotness. (Ignore that last sentence if you're not Lowlah). She's one of the very few women who haven't begun to piss me off immediately after we've had relations. She lets me be me, all the while not forgetting to be her. The exclusive B.U.D.D.Y thing isn't so bad. Although it wasn't so easy when she was away for 3 weeks, but I get where she's coming from. Oh and did I mention, el sexo es incredíble. So... We're seeing.

If you were to ask me today what the predominant reason for my singledom is, my reply would be "Options, and the anticipation thereof".

Some people might suggest that it's simply down to a fear of committment. But I argue that its a more deep seated fear of settling. And as long as I have my options, it remains easy to avoid that which I fear. Some of you(Lowlah) have been privy to my weekend options/"dilemmas".  I'm going to give you all a more cursory overview. (Some names are changed in the interests of privacy and uniformity. I will be naming them after cities (not necessarily the ones that they're in)).

And we'll start with Dublin: eyes, legs and a perfectly round booty of toned muscle. Thick, soft, luscious lips always glossed.Met her at a friend's event, we talked for a bit, but she's out-city so she's sort of a minor right now. She's promised to come visit though, so how it's gonna go... We'll see

Another out-city one is Brooklyn...I first met Brooklyn a couple years ago on a bus. Her cousin was actually the one to approach me. I hardly noticed Brooklyn at the time. She was shy, young looking and honestly quite plain. I ran into Brooklyn again last month. My lord, she's grown! A knowing, confident smile, a walk that's mean like Simon Cowell, and a body that looks like she walked out of a Ludacris video. She called me a week ago out of the blue.

Hey, I'm going to be in london soon, we should hook up

Definitely. When?

Not sure, I'll let you know (yada yada yada, small talk, light flirting)

So how's the boyfriend?

Oh, he''s somewhere

*Antennae perk up* What do u mean? You haven't heard from him?

Well he's in Jamaica, I think he's coming back next weekend or something. I don't know. To be honest I don't really feel like I have a boyfriend. I feel like I'm borrowing him.

*Smile*In that case, maybe I can borrow you from him.

She laughed. We flirted a little more. I told her I wanted to show her what I use the entire wall of mirrors in my bedroom for. We'll see.

Bucharest is another one that's been in a relationship the whole time I've known her. Until now. Sexy little Romanian thing with a ghetto booty and killer legs. She gets *side-eye* from a LOT of black girls when she walks down the street. And she's a fiend for black men, preferably West African. We'll see.

Then there's Vegas. Fun, witty, confident, highly sexual, untamed. Smile like summer, legs to the high heavens, a fashionista, she is definitely eye-candy. She is also very aware of how hot she is and as such she freely exercises her right to be chased. The challenge. Shore salivates at the prospect of her. D gets weary. Met her a week ago at the clothing store where she's a sales assistant. We've been on one drinks date. Where it goes from here? We'll see.

Phew! And I'm only halfway through. Be back with the rest

Soundtrack to this is "Where I wanna be" - Donnell Jones

but the cerberus es mis hermanos estimados so...

**************************************************************************
THE EVENT
****************
Okay, you have been on the grind all week...
You've had your ass whupped and kicked...
All because you are a working man...
It's Sunday and tomorrow it starts all over again...
You need a BREAK!!!!
YOU NEED TO CHILL AND RELAX
You need to be treated to AN EVENING OF POETRY, SPOKEN WORD, COMEDY & GOOD MOOD MUSIC before you run-off to restart the cycle which is your week.

****************************************************************************
THE VENUE:
*****************
Bambuddha Restaurant & Lounge aims to set a new standard in fine dining as befits the setting. The fresh modern and stylish design combined with a rich ambiance that envelopes guests upon entering.

****************************************************************************************
THE MENU:
***************
The menu has been created by Executive Head Chef, Mr Paul Fitchet balancing exquisite presentation of “Mediterranean” cuisine with South American influences, with reasonable prices. He has created a truly delicious menu, which accompanied by a unique wine list and well conceived cocktails can be savored in our glamorously designed space.

Your Ticket gives you access to an offering of:
*Satay Peri Peri Chicken Wings
*Assorted springrolls
*Teriyaki Pork Ribs
* Jacket in Prawns

and the options of:
*Soft drinks
*Chilled Juices
*House white
*House red

THE FULL BAMBUDDHA MENU IS AVAILABLE ON REQUEST.

******************************************************************************************
TICKETS AND RESERVATIONS:
****************************************
To maintain the ambiance and aesthetics, Chill and relax has limited reservations.

To make your reservations, call 07029344882 or send your e-mail to chilletrelax@gmail.com with the subject : Chill and Relax Booking.

Meet Shore.

Well actually, you already met Shore. If you've read any of posts about sex or seduction, you've met Shore.

I've had an alter ego since the time when people generally develop alter egos. Puberty.

Back then, as you all know, I was a shy kid, quiet, wishing I was one of the cool kids. Seemed they had so much more fun. They talked to the girls. They weren't invisible.

So I invented Seyi, my twin brother, class clown, cheeky, confident. Everything I wanted to be (fake it till u make it eh?). Seyi wasn't invisible. He was anything but. He was deadly on the basketball court, and a hit with the ladies.

But he was still fake, so in intimate situations, ones that required emotive involvement, he was nowhere to be found. As a result, it was easy to get a girlfriend, but then I hadn't the slightest clue what to do with her. So it was safe to say Seyi was of no real use to me at that point, but he was there, watching, observing, learning.

Fast forward a few years. I started watching Boston Legal and Seyi finally found someone he could really learn from. Alan Shore became our mentor. He was everything we both wanted to be sans the aetheism, the fat and the mild psychosis (we had our own psychoses(sp?) to deal with). He was smooth, passionate in his beliefs, ruthless, a humanitarian, and loyal to his friends. He was also a sexual deviant. He was perfect.

Over a five season gestation period, Seyi was reformed, recalibrated and eventually reborn as Shore. Smooth, passionate, ruthless, sexually depraved Shore. I, D,adopted the humanitarian edge and the loyalty. The whole essence of the Bachelor's Conundrum is the struggle between my two egos. I'll let them introduce themselves.

D

I'm the poet, enamored by women, nothing but respect for them, putting them on a pedestal even. I am the hopeless romantic, the dreamer, the "together forever" guy. When I talk to a woman I look into her eyes; trying to find her soul. I work everyday to be a better man. A man who will continue to strive to be worthy of my woman's love till the day I die. This said, I am also aware of my worth and will not settle for anything less than that woman's best. I love God and thank Him everyday for grace, because I know I'm going to need it with Shore. I'm embarrassed to say I still get tongue tied around beautiful women sometimes, so I need Shore.

Shore

I study the Kama Sutra, D might refer to me as sex obsessed but I prefer to think of myself as more of a sex  and seduction scholar, constantly working on improving my technique. I sometimes talk to women with a glint in my eye and a cheeky smile. You could say I'm obsessed with long legs and skinny waists and will literally stop midsentence and do an about face if a cute set walked past me.

We have the same objective in mind. To find the perfect woman. Here's a classic conversation between D and Shore.

D: I need a woman who is smart, creative, funny, open-minded, effortlessly hot (but not averse to putting in a little effort every now and then),  pretty eyes, smile like a thousand lightbulbs, and a hot body.

Shore: yea and she better fuck like a pornstar.

It's an unusual but comfortable alliance, the two of us. We complement each other.

D is here to remind Shore to always treat women with respect even when he's behind her with her face in the pillow. Shore is here to ensure we get behind her with her face in the pillow :p.

And there you have it. These are the personalities that co-exist (peacefully for now) within my head. A few other tidbits of information regarding the twins.

-Shore, whilst being continually open to new experiences, can be quite methodical sometimes. He requires a clear head to ensure optimum use of his analytical mind. So he only drinks Coke and Rum. He finds that this drink loosens him up a little but does not impair his ability to think and act. Every now and then, someone comes along with a few cocktails, Shore retreats and D makes an ass of himself. Always within reason, as Shore pulls him back if he's about to do anything REALLY dumb.

-Shore doesn't do much writing in the summer... too many fine women about. D is more the introspective one. Don't expect too many steamy posts this summer.

...If somewhere within this post you managed to find the point of it, please let me know