So, I haven't posted in a while, as some bloggers have not hesitated to point out. For that, I apologize.

It's not out of lack of stuff to say, but more out of lack of motivation to say it. I decided to take a little time to focus on work because, to be honest, blogging had become a full time distraction for me.

In my abscence I have conceived, (but not written) a few topics for posts, and I want you guys to choose which one goes up first and I'll do my best to make it happen this weekend. There's going to be a "Scribbles On:" series

-On living next door to a brothel...(BBBJTCWS..I'll explain in the post)

-On bank holiday weekend shenanigans...(mostly drunken shenanigans)

-On office affairs and wedding rings...(a.k.a. Sexy is her first nature)

-On bunny boilers and baby makers...(you guys get to meet my "kid")

Also the conclusion to Meet the Hunters is still in the works.

So, yes, now I leave it to you.

Furthermore, I don't think I will be able to "blog daily" anymore. I need my job, so I need to do my job. Unless you guys are willing to pay me to blog. My rates are £150/day; any takers? No? That hurts, and to think I thought you loved me.

Anyway, I might not have time to sit down and pour out an epistle on a daily basis anymore, but I can still take 30 seconds here and there to jot down my thoughts. So I tweet/twitter/twitt? dunno which is the correct expression. I prefer "Twibble".

So, if you're interested in my 3 or 4 times daily micro-rants, my twibbles are in the sidebar, or you can follow me @scribblemefree.

as always, sWeET DREAMS blogsville

Scribbles

He wont be back

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gpf0aO30ecE&feature=related[/youtube]

Know Your Audience

I hated studying French in primary school. I've never been a fan of the French. Or their language.

Still, I had to study it for 7 odd years. The moment I didn't have to anymore, I stopped. I've never fancied myself a speaker. Heck, I'm surprised when I hear some French and I can understand it, somewhat.

I surprised myself last night.

Two girls got on the train last night. One black, one Caucasian. The black girl was decent looking; tall, long legs, pretty eyes.

I sat and observed them for a minute, they were speaking French.

There is something remarkably sexy about French women. They seriously excite me. I don't speak French, but I thot I would go make an ass of myself in front of them.

I was a little surprised at how much I actually remembered.

Excusé moi, I'm sorry, je ne parle pas francais, but I had to come talk to you. Tu es tres belle. I smiled, I probably just murdered your language there, I'm sorry( I didn't say I was fluent)

She smiled.

I'm being rude. I didn't even introduce myself. Je mappelle Scribbles, comment t'appelle tu?

Vivienne, and you're not doing too badly she took my outstretched hand.

Enchanté. I kissed her hand

Life is a big stage and we're all playing parts. The key to success in many arenas is to know your audience. There are a few "gurus" out there who will say that a man should approach a woman within 3 seconds of seeing and being attracted to her. While I respect their reasons for that approach, I subscribe to a different theory.

A panther/lion/tiger or any other predator doesn't just bumble carelessly into a pack of gazelles. It will most likely go hungry using that approach. Instead the predator stalks its prey, watching, observing, looking for weaknesses within the group.

I follow the same principle. Watch a woman, observe the way she talks, carries herself; looking for my "in". And then, armed with a smile, charm, blackberry (she had one too) and that knowledge, I move in for the "kill".

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

**Shout out to Sexkitten, she provided the inspiration for this installment.**

continued from here

He got to the top of the stairs. The bedroom door was open. He could smell her perfume in the air. Eau de Cartier. She wasn't playing games tonight.

He could barely contain himself as he rounded the corner into the bedroom. There she was, in the bathroom doorway, her back to him, bent over the sink, one leg on the bidet. Her body glistened with droplets of water and she was oiling up.

He quietly unzipped his pants and approached her. She liked it when he "surprised" her.

She turned around, she had heard him come in. She had known he was behind her. She knew his intentions.

She placed her hand on his chest to stop him, looked down, a big grin spread across her face. She dropped to her knees and as her hands worked his belt, her tongue worked the tip of his cock. He shuddered when she took him whole in her mouth.

His was the only dick that had ever been in her mouth, she had hated it the first time and told him she was never doing it again. He hadn't pushed her. She was still a virgin, innocent, fragile. He went down on her frequently though, extracting powerful, violent orgasms. Whrenching them from her body with careless abandon.

One day, after a particularly intense, loud climax, -his parents were away for the weekend and his little brother was at a friends house across town- she lay in the afterglow, his hard cock in her hand, stroking it as he kissed her, feeding her her own nectar. She wanted to make him feel as good as he just made her feel.

She kissed his neck, his shoulders, bit down on his nipples; he loved it when she did that. She slowly made her way lower, lower and then she swallowed him. She would never forget the look on his face that day; surprise, puzzlement, pleasure; as his eyes rolled back in his head. She hadn't really known what she was doing, but she let his responses guide her.

The way he squirmed and thrashed about, turned her on. She was wetter than she had ever been. And when he came, harder than he ever had, she couldn't contain herself anymore, her cunt was throbbing.

"I'm ready, Dw"

"What, ready for what?" he was still delirious with pleasure.

"I want you inside me"

"Are..are you sure?"

"Yes"

They made love for the first time that day, he had been careful, he had tried not to hurt her, and when he saw the pain spread across her face, his heart almost broke. He had held her when she cried afterward, and had been ready when, 10 minutes later, she wanted to go again. He didn't know it then, but he had just unleashed her inner nymph.

In the weeks to follow, they had their first real scare. She was late, a week to be precise. She was convinced she was pregnant and certain her mother would kill her. Dwayne had stood by her side. It turned out to be a false alarm, but they were careful from then on. Dwayne carried a packet of condoms everywhere with him, because he never knew when or where she would decide to pull out his cock

She had become addicted to sucking his cock. She was giving her man more pleasure than he could bear, and she loved it. She loved the power. One day, she swallowed. It was an accident, he told her he was coming, but she had been so engrossed in what she was doing she hadn't heard him. She hadn't realised till it hit the back of her throat. She had no choice but to swallow then.

It wasn't half bad. She had looked up at him and seen the look of delight on his face. Then she'd gone back to work. His knees buckled. Since that day, she always swallowed.

And she would swallow tonight. She loosened his belt and let his pants drop to the floor; and with her hands on his thighs and his dick in her mouth, she guided him to the bed, thankful they had chosen to go for plush carpeting.

His favorite "bootah call". This dude is funny as hell, dude didn't even seem sorry, or afraid, just confused. Like "there is someone talking, it sounds like my wife" LMAO!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfRjsMlwjJw[/youtube]

...apparently, Indian women don't use "the mouth"...anyone wanna assert or depose that statement?

So I got my BB back, sans all my contacts. So for those of you who were on my BBM list, please submit your PINs to scribbles@scribblemefree.com, or better still add me - PIN:2561A775.

Feel free to add me if you weren't a previous contact; I'm always open to making new friends :P

So, I have this scale (Tanita, I think), measures weight, body fat %, muscle mass, body water % etc. The last time I checked (3wks or so ago), I was 68kg(150lbs), 17.8%, 52.3, 50.4% respectively, and, while happy enough with that, I've been trying to gain a little weight (get up to 75ish(165lbs)) and at the same time cut down body fat % to high single figures.

To that end, I've been working hard in the gym, eating right, going on morning runs (ok, maybe not as often as I should but at least I went).

So tell me why, when I checked again Saturday morning I had lost weight (63Kg(140lbs)), my body fat % had DOUBLED (31.8%) and I had lost 10kg (20lbs) of muscle mass i.e. 41.3. I was aghast. My body was still throbbing from the gym sessions. I came to the conclusion it was one of two things:

1. Friday evening, I had baked a batch of brownies and when they were done, I decided to have a taste. 10 minutes later, I had eaten the entire batch. I was being punished


2. (And I think this is more likely) The scale is malfunctioning. I mean the fact that I can't actually see the fat anywhere tells me Tanita is taking the piss. :) Good thing it's still under warranty.

That's that about that. :)

Heading to bed in a minute, but since you guys liked Staceyann Chin so much I thought I'd share a few more of my favorites with  you.

Shannelle Gabriel

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjNRr9-tgtw[/youtube]

Steve Connell and Sekou

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRzoAYpYcOc[/youtube]

Shihan

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik7GFLB_CII[/youtube]

Our very own Bassey Ikpi

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTcOWR3uc0E&feature=PlayList&p=6C755BB0C54EED2B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=31[/youtube]

...seriously if you don't know...get to knowing!

I promise I'll continue the Hunter story soon...Maybe today (I have the story in my head, just a matter of putting it on paper)

LOML is in Nig at the moment. I haven't seen her in over a year now and I miss her. I really hope her bid to do her Masters in London works out. But that's not the crux of the gist.

Popsie will be on his way to Nig this weekend...but let's start at the beginning. (This is why I don't write about LOML often, it tends to be disjointed and random - we have so much history...but I will try and make this as coherent as possible).

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that LOML and I are (and have been for a long time) family friends. There is a mutual trust/respect/affection that exists between our parents. Also, her parents love me, my parents love her... you can see where this is going.

Usually, I'm not into girls that my parents want me to be into (but you know this already), however, it's very different with LOML. I've known her since I was about 8, didn't actually speak to her till I was about 16 (for some reason all this time I thought she was dating my oldest friend Kay...but apparently I thought wrong :) - ok I've gone off on a tangent again)

Anyway, LOML and I didn't start really getting close until we were about 18ish. I was in MA (I know I said Michigan before...my weak attempt at misdirection), she was in...(I don't know if I have permission to disclose that info...but she was far away sha).

I remember vividly the first time I thought about her in a non-platonic sense. I had actually been telling her (get this) about a girl I was crushing on..I think I may have written something (a poem) and after she read it/or after I was done telling her, and she was done encouraging me to "go for it", she said "I think I could see myself falling for you".

Now, I had always had a mild crush on LOML but had always ignored it (like I said, I thought she and Kay had a thing). When she said that though, I thought about it for a second, then dismissed it.

Not too long after that, the term LOML came about. I don't know who coined it or which one of us used it first, but it was there. It was mainly a friendship term at the time. We remained platonic. Over time, however, it started to develop into something deeper. We were friends, with the benefit of knowing that we would always have each other. She slowly became the most important person in my life.

When I inevitably moved to England, we stayed in touch, and when my parents found out, they couldn't conceal their elation. We maintained we were just friends. The fact that she came to England a couple of years ago for a few days (under a week) that happened to include my birthday more than raised a few eyebrows.

Last summer, this happened and caused me to realise the depth of my feelings for her, and I have wanted her close since. We speak a lot more often, and I have since told her that I love her. Before you all get over-excited, we will not be engaging in the futile practice of an LDR.

I've talked about how my parents keep pestering me about the "girlfriend". "Where is she, who is she? blah blah blah". Well, now they append the question "or is it LOML?" with a wink and a twinkle.

So now, LOML is in Nig and Popsie will be in Nig by the weekend. Last week we were talking and he said (I still hope he was joking) he will interrogate her when he sees her. I begged him not to embarass the poor girl. And then, on the weekend, he told me he had spoken to her parents. Her dad had said  "LOML always knows what's going on in your family, I wonder why that is" and her mom had remarked something to the tune of "Don't you know she's already part of the Scribbles family?"

I couldn't contain my laughter. Now, the old man has a renewed resolve to interrogate her. Well, he has 1 day to do it in. She leaves the day after he arrives. I wish him luck! (not necessarily the good kind)

I hope this post wasn't too spasmodic. But as a random "finally", anyone that knows me knows I LOVE watches. I'm a watch connoisseur, if you will. I remarked to a friend that "Shoes are to most girls as watches are to Scribbles" (not that I have that many watches anyway). But I say that to say this. Look at the watch LOML got me for graduation last year!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="377" caption="My fave watch!"][/caption]

I bet you love her too now dontcha?

So I dont know what prompted this, but I suddenly got the urge to give u guysies a glimpse of Scribbles. So here goes:



So, there I am. Well, if I were to be perfectly honest, that's from 5 years ago. But it does the job.

It is my pleasure and a great honour to introduce those of you who dont know to Def Poet Stacey Chin:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfoQOenh9Cw[/youtube]

I LOVE  this piece. I also, for some reason find her really attractive :-P Enjoy.

continued from here... *PLEASE READ THE PRE-QUELS FIRST!!

*Ring Ring*

"Hello"

"Mom, would you mind taking the twins tonight?"

" I'd love to. How about they spend the weekend?"

"Oh, that would be great! Thanks mom! Should I bring them..."

"I'm already having your dad pick them up from school"

"Oh"*giggles*"you know me too well mama"

"It's your anniversary baby, have fun"

Cyan smiled. Her mother knew her well. Maybe too well, she worried. But she could worry later. She didnt have time to worry now. She had one thing on her mind.

That Hunter dude was going to pay. She still shuddered when she thought about that afternoon. She had had to leave the office early. There was work to be done, but they would understand. It was her anniversary.

Besides, she couldnt do any work. Not in her current state. She was mentally and physically frazzled. All she could think about was tearing Dwayne apart tonight. In the end she had spent 15 minutes planning it, made a few calls, grabbed her keys, told Charles to take her messages and gone home.

She pulled into the driveway and popped the trunk. She surveyed its contents and pleased she had everything she needed she hurried inside and locked the door. She had about an hour before Dwayne came home.

She needed to set the stage. She carefully placed the first item, hanging from the banister and made her way up the stairs.

Forty-five minutes later she was done. As she stood back to admire her work, she heard his car pull into the driveway. He was early. She smiled, he must have cut his meeting short. The text message she sent him a few minutes ago must have had an effect.

She gave her efforts of the last forty-five minutes a final once-over and hopped in the shower.

*

Dwayne walked in the house, phone to his ear, conducting his meeting via the phone. He should still be in a room with 10 other men, in pin-stripe Italian suits and silk ties. They were in the middle of arranging the takeover a few small firms in Tokyo.

He was in the middle of a speech when his phone had gone off. Text message from Cyan.

I'm home, waiting on you. Follow the drip trail...

"Family emergency, boys. I gotta run, but I leave you all in Gus's capable hands. I'll be on my cell".

His vice-chairman and best friend took over, giving him a knowing smile. Gus knew how much Dwayne loved the company and he knew there was only one person he would cut out of a meeting for. He also knew it was their anniversary. Hell, he'd been best man at the wedding. He had been completely prepared to fill in for Dwayne, surprised he made it to the meeting in the first place.

He saw it the moment he walked into the house, hanging from the banister. "Guys, I'm going to have to leave you now. Have a good evening" He hung up and picked it up. It was the thong she'd worn that morning when she left the house. It was soaked. He sniffed it...how he loved her scent.

He could hear the shower running. He started up the stairs and stopped. Her Vicky Secrets bra was strewn accross the third step, carefully placed to look like it had just happened to fall there. He smiled and began to stir in anticipation of the night.

Written Aug2005, recorded Mar2007

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Forgive me, this recording is kinda rough around the edges. I did it in my bedroom.

Here are the words:

Godess, deep, dark chocolate being
Let me tell you about this Nubian Queen
Sweetness, rich, smooth like Godiva
Adam would give his whole left side to get beside her
she is desire personified
damned if I dont tell you about her smile
drive a grown man wild
wrapped up in lips incredible, almost edible man, style
so sweet you could almost eat...lips ample
like supple pillows to rest my lips on
her vibe is mellow
casually i approach her
naturally putting me on an unnatural high
how do i survive the temptation, the fascination
the infatuation with this ebony vixen
would you please listen as i tell you about this Nubian Queen
have you ever seen a beauty so pure, so sure in her confidence
consequently
making me sweat from the fire of desire
making me ache for the pain of summer rain
making me lick my lips as i tell you about this Nubian Queen

...So my facebook status read a couple of weekends ago. *This is going to be a random post*

So, yesterday, a line from a song popped into my head ¶"When I fall in love, it will be forever..or I'll never fall in love"¶-Nat King Cole

I think it also features in Disney's Sleeping Beauty...not sure if that's the one. But this simple line made me come to a realisation about myself : I'm not a player, I'm just a seriously hopeless romantic... I keep my heart from love because if I'm going to give my heart to anyone, it's gunna be a forever situation... all or nothing at all, if you will. I just did a search on google for a quote describing the troubles a poet faces in finding love. I didn't find one. So I'm creating my own.

"It is easier for the village Idiot from Texas to become President of a world power than it is for a poet to find love."

Ok, don't quote me on that..that was rubbish. But you get my point. Poets, writers, artists, spend their time dissecting love, romanticizing it, putting love on a pedestal, making it an ideal, unattainable. Our imaginations run wild with impossible descriptions of women/men likening them to gods/goddesses and other lofty ideals. The fact that people tend not to measure up to these romanticisms causes us to turn cynic.

I was  on Dee Brighton's blog and a couple of things she said in her last post struck me. Like the paucity of good music these days. She's actually good, she goes searching. I don't remember the last time I uploaded my ipod with music, and I'm pretty sure when I did, I was adding classics like Teddy Pendi et al.

I also, by her inspiration decided to put my touch on shuffle and just listen (I've never done that before, I have moods, and certain music that matches the moods) it's proving to be quite a joy. One of the tracks I've listened to so far is something Your's Truly recorded a few years back. I might put it up soon, in all it's amateur goodness.

Zoe Saldana...hottie. I saw Star Trek over the weekend and I just couln't get over how hot she is (is it weird that I found the green girl in that hot too?) Zoe is the newest addition to my Celebogle list, joining the calibre of Megan Fox, the two Jessicas (Biel and Alba), and knocking Meagan Good off the list (sorry Meag, you're extremely hot, but this is just reflecting my tastes at the moment..you just might be back--yes, I assume she reads my blog).

I need new female friends. The past two weeks have proven to be massive disappointments. Following the sausage fest that was my friends bbq two weeks ago, I have to say I still was in no way prepared for what occured last friday night.

So a colleague of mine had a housewarming party. Cute little chinese girl with, presumably, cute little chinese friends. I arrived and saw...guys. Penises all around me. About 13 of them.  And chick was the ONLY girl. ALL NIGHT! I was severely disappointed, but I decided to make do. The chick was wearing this see through piece that i can only describe as a negligeé, white bra, black tights. I had been considering getting jiggy with her. This was the night.  This was also the night when I figured out that IT geeks who aren't getting any can be HUGE cockblockers. The boys were having none of it. She would come sit by me and we'd be talking and someone would come, holding their drink and stand over us. She kept dropping hints like "It's getting late..you guys are gna miss ur train"..and then she'd turn to me and say "the bus from here to your house is 24 hours right?"

But the boys were having none of it. Apparently, they had all been eyeing the prize themselves and they'd be damned if they let this black boy steal it from under their noses. Ah well, and I was looking forward to practicing my Mandarin as well.

Right. I'm going to stop there. Audio post should be up tonight.

I sit here with my head down. Despondent. What is there to live for anymore. She's gone.

I saw it coming, she had been showing the signs. She had stopped responding to my touch. Switching off at random moments. Giving me that blank look. We were supposed to be connected. It feels like a part of me is missing. She was supposed to make me a better man.

And now, she's gone.

Before I carry on, let me just say that I am NOT being melodramatic. I really do feel that deeply for my Blackberry. Yes, my Blackberry.

The trackball stopped working amongst other things and I've had to send it back to vodafone for repairs. They gave me this Sharp phone as a temporary replacement.

Piece. Of. Shit.

I actually have panic attacks everytime I look down and see it. Sitting there, staring back at me. Wanting me to love it. Like I love her. IT WON'T HAPPEN. Eat your heart out Sharpie!

Honestly, I don't even think I know how to use it. I doubt I'll be making any phone calls, definitely wont be doing anything on it that requires me to type. I have to deal with this shit for a week! Heaven help me!

I've had to change the look of the site. My previous look, while being quite nice to look at, was pretty confusing and didnt offer a lot in terms of flexibility. I hope you like this new one.

Final Chapter

1. And once again, they made their way to the bar, hand in hand.

3S's

Her footsteps fell in immediately behind mine as I weaved a path through the maze that is a packed nightclub. I looked back at her.

Stop watching my bum,...you women, constantly objectifying, shameful!

And then she did something that surprised me. She grabbed my butt. Right there, in the middle of the club.

Ooh it's nice and firm! she exclaimed, a playful leer in her voice.

I have to admit that threw me for a second; in one simple move, one split second, she had flipped the script. The hunter had become the hunted. I decided to go with it.

I smiled. Now you owe me dinner. (Subtlety)

Haha, I'll tell you what. I'll get this round of drinks and you can buy me dinner. I was becoming increasingly aware that I had misjudged this petite beauty. She was a predator in her own right, skilled.

We got to the bar and she ordered the drinks; 2 JD and Cokes, on the rocks. She threw her head back, smiled at me and winked. She had just shown me two things, [a]she had been observing me and [b] she could drink with the boys. She knew the game well. I was impressed. I chose not to show it.

Be careful with that, I won't be kissing on no hairy chest. (Suggestion). She looked at me for a second, head cocked, a frown creasing her delicate features, and then a lightbulb went off. Oh! Joker! she giggled, and said no more.

As we waited for our drinks, I started to play with her tattoo again, running my fingertips along the lines and curves, grazing her skin (Sensation) while I told her about my day, the flopped barbecue, "Too many men" playing on cue...

Our drinks came and we left the bar. Some dude was in our spot (I was right to have taken her with me to the bar...damn scavengers). We found another spot behind a banister, and just danced close f0r the rest of the night, whispering things I cant start to remember back and forth, pulling apart briefly to take a sip of our drinks.

My back against the wall, her head on my shoulder, I said, I'm not going to buy you dinner.

She pulled away and looked at me. I'm going to cook you dinner, I said


You can cook? Ok then.


What do you um, what do you...if you don't stop staring at my lips I'm going to have to kiss you.

She smiled and leaned in.

My people pray for guidance o!!! I'm sure I could've hustled $100+ in 1997. Look at the link below.

 http://money.aol.com/investing/top-ten-stock/

This article accurately shows how, with patience, faith in and guidance from God, you can be another Solomon. True, this is the past and things look bleak at the moment, but remember that the Bible says that "the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord..." (Ps 37:23)/"...shall be taught of the Lord, and great will be [his] P's...ahem..peace"(Is 54:13)

Remember, dear ones that history is certain to repeat itself. Continually pray that if it is His will for your life, you will be in the Right Place, at the Right Time.

This is a PERFECT example of true 100-fold harvest, the way God intended it.

I know I owe blogville a conclusion post at least and I realize I've kept you waiting 2 whole days. I'm sorry, I'm in the process of building the website and that is proving to be a fulltime job in itself... I already have a flippin fulltime job!

*

Anyway, this means I'm neglecting blogger a bit. But I'll be back in full force to invite you all to join me. So bear with me. Thanks. Love yous guise!

Chapter 2

1. And she followed him to the bar. Scribbles beseeched her "What wilt thou drink?"

*

Amaretto and Coke please.

*

Oh you're a proper girly girl aren't ya? I teased. She laughed and leaned over the bar. The light caught her bare shoulder. I knew this move, I obliged her.

*

That's a pretty tatoo, when did you get it?

*

A couple of weeks ago, her reply

*

Oh, so it's still sort of brand new..., I traced a line with my thumb, classy.

*

Thanks, she smiled. I ordered our drinks and played my hand.

*

You can leave if you still want to, or you can come hang over there with me and my friends. I was helping her out. We need another girl to balance out the group anyway. She would be doing me a favor as well. We needed each other.

*

Oh, erm.., she looked skeptical

*

Like I said, you don't have to, but we're a fun group.

*

Ok, she smiled, can't hurt.

*

You should tell your friend where we'll be.

*

No, it's cool, I don't want to interrupt her. I'll send her a text. She handed me her drink and quickly rapped out a text message on her Blackberry (she got extra points for that). Let's go.

*

I handed her drink back to her and we made our way over to my friends. I made the necessary introductions.

*

Be nice guys, she just got dumped.

*

She rolled her eyes. I didn't get dumped, punched me in the arm with her free hand, my friend's just off with some man.

*

And I have to give it to my friends, they couldn't have played their roles better if it was scripted. The girls immediately made her feel like one of them (I have to give you women props on your ability to do that, only when you want to of course). Squeals of "I love your dress, where did you get your shoes" rang through the air. I let them have her for a few minutes while I went back to the bar and returned with another couple of drinks.

*

This served another purpose, she was inevitably going to try and find out things about me, and I trusted the girls to offer up niceties.

*

I wandered back into the group with the drinks in my hands and handed them to the girls, as a thank you and a peace offering, I was about to steal their 'fabulous'(their word) new friend away.

*

We retreated from the group and found a relatively quiet corner to talk. Your friends are nice.

*

I thought you might like them. They must really like you though, they're not usually THAT nice. A compliment to her.

*

After much small talk and banter, her hand on my chest she said, I feel like I've known you for years.

*

That was my plan all along, I replied, cheeky smile.

*

You are SUCH a player, she smiled as she turned around and settled into me.

*

Maybe I am, I wasn't going to lie to her, there's a few 'dos' I try to follow.

*

1. DO be honest and open, people tend to respond in kind, so if you're dishonest and closed off, she'll be dishonest and closed off and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. DO give her options, never make her feel like she has to do something, or she more than likely won't.
3. DO always make her feel comfortable. If she's at ease with you, she will be more likely to share her secrets with you, including her phone number.
4. DO make sure she laughs and has fun. That one speaks for itself
5. DO make it effortless, never try too hard, be yourself and simply apply your natural personality to the situation.
6. DO not assume at anytime that any of this is foolproof or guaranteed to work. If you fall flat on your face, dust yourself off, learn from it, improve your technique, and try again.

*

The DJ was playing some dancehall and then some r&b, seemed like he was playing it for us, as she wined (sp?) pon me?

*

Do you want another drink? I whispered in her ear.

*

Are you trying to get me drunk mister?

*

Never! I chuckled

*

Ok, one more.

*

Amaretto and Coke coming up, I took a few steps in the direction of the bar and then thought the better of it, before some random idiot comes and steals all my hard work. You coming?

*

She rolled her eyes and took my outstretched hand.

Chapter 1

1. And it came to pass, on the second day of the weekend, that Scribbles traveled a far distance to party with some friends.

*

Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was invited to a barbecue by a friend of mine. She has a lot of fine friends, so I'm thinking 'correct'. WRONG! We get there and there's like 6 people there, 5 of which are dudes. The stereo was blasting away and as we walked in Boy Better Know's "Too many men" came on. We almost died with laughter.

*

After much chitter chatter, and filling up on hot dogs and burgers and the like, we decided it was time to move this party to a different scene, so we decided to go clubbing. Well, they decided, I obliged and since I didn't have a book, I decided to make the most of it.

*

We got to the club and it was packed...*sigh*...ah well, making the most of it, I made a beeline for the bar; got me and my friends drinks (surprisingly cheap for a London club- not that I was complaining). Then I decided to scope out my surroundings.

*

That's when I saw her, 'skankin out' on the dance floor...these British people and their skankin sef. Me I no understand o. This girl made it look good though. At the same time I saw him. I watched the both of them for a couple of minutes. Then I shook my head and chuckled.

*

I said before that I don't consider myself as having game. I am, however, really good at starting, maintaining and directing conversation. I'm also good at spotting opportunities. Finally, I have a few 'dont's' that I follow religiously.

*

1. Don't stand over a girl for longer than 2 seconds just staring at her dance if you don't know her. It's creepy and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. Don't subsequently lean in and say "I like the way you wine" (yes I can lip read). This only works if (a)she's desperate or (b) you are a celebrity or a splitting image of Tyson Beckford or Denzel in his prime in which case you can do whatever the hell you want.
3. Don't stand there for a full 5 minutes telling her inanities at 1 minute intervals.

*

I sipped my Jack and Coke and chatted with my friend, watching them out of the corner of my eye. Dude was persistent-I'll give him that. She walked away and dude made his retreat, head low. I downed the rest of my drink and excused myself from the conversation. I made for the bar once again, making sure to walk right by her. I placed my hand in the small of her back, ever so lightly

*

Excuse me. I met her eyes, I smiled. She smiled back. Hi, I'm Scribbles.

*

Melanie, was her retort.

*

You know you shouldn't come to places like this alone, weird guys tend to hover over you. My subtle indication that I had been watching her.

*

She laughed, I came with my friend, but she's over there with some man.

*

I looked over and sure as day, she was sucking some dude's face. I laughed, Seems like she's having fun

*

Yea enough for the both of us. I think I'm leaving soon.

*

Oh, but I just met you. Before you make that decision, let me buy you a drink, you look a little...hot.

*

She smiled, Okay.

"Who's is it?" I asked.

I knew it wasn't mine. I strapped up every time and that meant I was 99.8% confident that I wasn't the father. She was 100% confident I wasn't.

"Some guy from back home. He just moved here. I went over his house the other day and fell asleep. I woke up and he was already going at it."

"Oh, what the fuck? Did he rape you?" In hindsight, this was a pretty insensitive question

"No I didn't push him off or nothing. I was half asleep the whole time"

"Hmm, ok, if you say so. I thought you said you couldn't get pregnant"

"That's what I thought, that's what I was told"

My people, see me see wahala. Na Baba God I just dey thank. Scribbles would have been looking fatherhood straight in the eye now. Chick said she'd had some complications earlier in life due to getting raped and had been told she couldn't have kids, and as such (since she'd just got tested) it was cool to engage in sex without protection.

Thank God for Scribbles Scruple 2.1 "No sex without condom". I'm not ready to be a father.

"Did you tell him?"

"No, I texted him but he's not awake yet"

"Ok, so what do you want to do?"

"I can't have a kid, I'm a mess, that kid would end up hating me, besides, it would get in the way of me and you"

"Woah, don't base your decision on me...do what you need to do, but at the end of the day, I have nothing to do with this baby, so it's your decision, think about it and make sure you're doing the right thing"

"Ok, but I'm not keeping it"

"Ok"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, just a little caught off guard"

This is the same chick that wanted to film us . I just have God to thank. Much much lower thanks goes to Durex. This chick has also said stuff like "we should get married" ,"i wanna have your babies" etcetera etcetera.I never even asked chick to be my girlfriend. Ask me why I still mess with her? The sex is amazing!

In other news, I've updated Entertaining Insanity with another audio post. Once again, ENJOY!

Also embedding this "Halo" cover by Ahmir...tell me it's not better than the original

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

won fe pa mi(HATERS)- by Leksai feat. CapB and IZ (watch out for those guys)

words to "so we procrastinate"

itz a funny thing, this counter-productive, anti-progressive diversion
threatening subversion of my life plan
the lethargy is all but consuming, facebook finding work for my 'idle' hands
facing away from the books neatly stacked
i turn my back as they plead my need to crack them open
the exam's in but a few hours but is my anxiety showin?
no...cuz i'm on facebook writing this 'reachout'
trying to reach out to my brothers and sisters in this struggle to revise
as we struggle for our lives, for our futures..
but we can't seem to win, truth is..we LIKE being facebook users
fiends addicted to friend lists
tomorrow itz "let's create a group to see how we can end this"
deception of self is the deepest deception of all
but then that mentality is deemed acceptance of our fate
so we procrastinate...
like we dont have the balls to fight for our freedom from facebook
but how do u free a willing addict?
u moan but u know therz no other way u'd have it
how do u liberate a happy slave?
u cant save me when i dont wanna be saved

I have come to hate that word.

*

I was going to do a post on something else today, but after reading Bumight's Who is a Jand Awon Boys and Original Mgbeke's Stuff Britgerians/Naija people like, and also a comment blogoratti made on my ...got my mojo back post I thought I might need to clear up a few Scribble Myths.

*

Bumight said:

*

a JAB's got swagg...I dont. I don't even know what swagg is. I have a confident, intelligent, warm, jovial personality, I have a style all my own, and it works for me. And I have my smile. Additionally, the same old man that said "you could learn how to dress just from checkin' my fresh" said, if I remember correctly "swagger is...a liabilty".

*

He's either sporting that polo shirt ... Either the dress shirt and sweater or the dress shirt and suit sans tie....I dont, and have never owned a Polo shirt, yes I do own 2 shirts from T.M. Lewin and a few others from Hawes & Curtis but these are all work clothes, so if I did turn up at a club wearing em(with the tie most times), it would be because I did just get off work...my weekends are mine and as such I wanna be free, you would generally find me in a T shirts, jeans and comfortable shoes on the weekend. I also don't own any clothes with prominent logos.

*

their sexual resume is quite em...a long ting...my sexual resumé is actually quite modest, you may be surprised to find.

*

I think I may have also mentioned that I dont drink champagne because I dont like the taste, so you won't find me with a flute in my hand. I'll be that guy in sweater and jeans standing/sitting at the bar, pouring back Jack and coke, and possibly flipping through the pages of a good book.

*

Original Mgbeke made a lot of valid points in her post, she did however generalize a lot. I'll put it to you Mgbeks that not EVERY Britgerian (don't even know what that is) is guilty of the crimes you've accused them of. Also, a lot of the things you've listed are simply cultural differences. When I first moved here, I found myself asking some of the same questions and making some of the same observations. On your (i think 9th) point about Jand/Nig pple doing effizy sturvs, I happen to know a few people who flew from Maryland to Birmingham, UK a couple of years ago, for a PARTY. Left around noon the next day.

*

Also, I don't have a British accent, if u listened to my audio post you would find that my accent is quite...well, unique. BTW, who told u ASOS is cheap? Mehn, me I don't shop there cuz it's flippin expensive! £70 for a flippin jacket...which is online so u dont even know if it's proper quality or not. Hiss.

*

Finally, blogoratti and his comment about 'game'. But this post is getting rather long so I'll leave that one for another day.