Know Your Audience

I hated studying French in primary school. I've never been a fan of the French. Or their language.

Still, I had to study it for 7 odd years. The moment I didn't have to anymore, I stopped. I've never fancied myself a speaker. Heck, I'm surprised when I hear some French and I can understand it, somewhat.

I surprised myself last night.

Two girls got on the train last night. One black, one Caucasian. The black girl was decent looking; tall, long legs, pretty eyes.

I sat and observed them for a minute, they were speaking French.

There is something remarkably sexy about French women. They seriously excite me. I don't speak French, but I thot I would go make an ass of myself in front of them.

I was a little surprised at how much I actually remembered.

Excusé moi, I'm sorry, je ne parle pas francais, but I had to come talk to you. Tu es tres belle. I smiled, I probably just murdered your language there, I'm sorry( I didn't say I was fluent)

She smiled.

I'm being rude. I didn't even introduce myself. Je mappelle Scribbles, comment t'appelle tu?

Vivienne, and you're not doing too badly she took my outstretched hand.

Enchanté. I kissed her hand

Life is a big stage and we're all playing parts. The key to success in many arenas is to know your audience. There are a few "gurus" out there who will say that a man should approach a woman within 3 seconds of seeing and being attracted to her. While I respect their reasons for that approach, I subscribe to a different theory.

A panther/lion/tiger or any other predator doesn't just bumble carelessly into a pack of gazelles. It will most likely go hungry using that approach. Instead the predator stalks its prey, watching, observing, looking for weaknesses within the group.

I follow the same principle. Watch a woman, observe the way she talks, carries herself; looking for my "in". And then, armed with a smile, charm, blackberry (she had one too) and that knowledge, I move in for the "kill".

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Final Chapter

1. And once again, they made their way to the bar, hand in hand.

3S's

Her footsteps fell in immediately behind mine as I weaved a path through the maze that is a packed nightclub. I looked back at her.

Stop watching my bum,...you women, constantly objectifying, shameful!

And then she did something that surprised me. She grabbed my butt. Right there, in the middle of the club.

Ooh it's nice and firm! she exclaimed, a playful leer in her voice.

I have to admit that threw me for a second; in one simple move, one split second, she had flipped the script. The hunter had become the hunted. I decided to go with it.

I smiled. Now you owe me dinner. (Subtlety)

Haha, I'll tell you what. I'll get this round of drinks and you can buy me dinner. I was becoming increasingly aware that I had misjudged this petite beauty. She was a predator in her own right, skilled.

We got to the bar and she ordered the drinks; 2 JD and Cokes, on the rocks. She threw her head back, smiled at me and winked. She had just shown me two things, [a]she had been observing me and [b] she could drink with the boys. She knew the game well. I was impressed. I chose not to show it.

Be careful with that, I won't be kissing on no hairy chest. (Suggestion). She looked at me for a second, head cocked, a frown creasing her delicate features, and then a lightbulb went off. Oh! Joker! she giggled, and said no more.

As we waited for our drinks, I started to play with her tattoo again, running my fingertips along the lines and curves, grazing her skin (Sensation) while I told her about my day, the flopped barbecue, "Too many men" playing on cue...

Our drinks came and we left the bar. Some dude was in our spot (I was right to have taken her with me to the bar...damn scavengers). We found another spot behind a banister, and just danced close f0r the rest of the night, whispering things I cant start to remember back and forth, pulling apart briefly to take a sip of our drinks.

My back against the wall, her head on my shoulder, I said, I'm not going to buy you dinner.

She pulled away and looked at me. I'm going to cook you dinner, I said


You can cook? Ok then.


What do you um, what do you...if you don't stop staring at my lips I'm going to have to kiss you.

She smiled and leaned in.

Chapter 2

1. And she followed him to the bar. Scribbles beseeched her "What wilt thou drink?"

*

Amaretto and Coke please.

*

Oh you're a proper girly girl aren't ya? I teased. She laughed and leaned over the bar. The light caught her bare shoulder. I knew this move, I obliged her.

*

That's a pretty tatoo, when did you get it?

*

A couple of weeks ago, her reply

*

Oh, so it's still sort of brand new..., I traced a line with my thumb, classy.

*

Thanks, she smiled. I ordered our drinks and played my hand.

*

You can leave if you still want to, or you can come hang over there with me and my friends. I was helping her out. We need another girl to balance out the group anyway. She would be doing me a favor as well. We needed each other.

*

Oh, erm.., she looked skeptical

*

Like I said, you don't have to, but we're a fun group.

*

Ok, she smiled, can't hurt.

*

You should tell your friend where we'll be.

*

No, it's cool, I don't want to interrupt her. I'll send her a text. She handed me her drink and quickly rapped out a text message on her Blackberry (she got extra points for that). Let's go.

*

I handed her drink back to her and we made our way over to my friends. I made the necessary introductions.

*

Be nice guys, she just got dumped.

*

She rolled her eyes. I didn't get dumped, punched me in the arm with her free hand, my friend's just off with some man.

*

And I have to give it to my friends, they couldn't have played their roles better if it was scripted. The girls immediately made her feel like one of them (I have to give you women props on your ability to do that, only when you want to of course). Squeals of "I love your dress, where did you get your shoes" rang through the air. I let them have her for a few minutes while I went back to the bar and returned with another couple of drinks.

*

This served another purpose, she was inevitably going to try and find out things about me, and I trusted the girls to offer up niceties.

*

I wandered back into the group with the drinks in my hands and handed them to the girls, as a thank you and a peace offering, I was about to steal their 'fabulous'(their word) new friend away.

*

We retreated from the group and found a relatively quiet corner to talk. Your friends are nice.

*

I thought you might like them. They must really like you though, they're not usually THAT nice. A compliment to her.

*

After much small talk and banter, her hand on my chest she said, I feel like I've known you for years.

*

That was my plan all along, I replied, cheeky smile.

*

You are SUCH a player, she smiled as she turned around and settled into me.

*

Maybe I am, I wasn't going to lie to her, there's a few 'dos' I try to follow.

*

1. DO be honest and open, people tend to respond in kind, so if you're dishonest and closed off, she'll be dishonest and closed off and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. DO give her options, never make her feel like she has to do something, or she more than likely won't.
3. DO always make her feel comfortable. If she's at ease with you, she will be more likely to share her secrets with you, including her phone number.
4. DO make sure she laughs and has fun. That one speaks for itself
5. DO make it effortless, never try too hard, be yourself and simply apply your natural personality to the situation.
6. DO not assume at anytime that any of this is foolproof or guaranteed to work. If you fall flat on your face, dust yourself off, learn from it, improve your technique, and try again.

*

The DJ was playing some dancehall and then some r&b, seemed like he was playing it for us, as she wined (sp?) pon me?

*

Do you want another drink? I whispered in her ear.

*

Are you trying to get me drunk mister?

*

Never! I chuckled

*

Ok, one more.

*

Amaretto and Coke coming up, I took a few steps in the direction of the bar and then thought the better of it, before some random idiot comes and steals all my hard work. You coming?

*

She rolled her eyes and took my outstretched hand.

Chapter 1

1. And it came to pass, on the second day of the weekend, that Scribbles traveled a far distance to party with some friends.

*

Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was invited to a barbecue by a friend of mine. She has a lot of fine friends, so I'm thinking 'correct'. WRONG! We get there and there's like 6 people there, 5 of which are dudes. The stereo was blasting away and as we walked in Boy Better Know's "Too many men" came on. We almost died with laughter.

*

After much chitter chatter, and filling up on hot dogs and burgers and the like, we decided it was time to move this party to a different scene, so we decided to go clubbing. Well, they decided, I obliged and since I didn't have a book, I decided to make the most of it.

*

We got to the club and it was packed...*sigh*...ah well, making the most of it, I made a beeline for the bar; got me and my friends drinks (surprisingly cheap for a London club- not that I was complaining). Then I decided to scope out my surroundings.

*

That's when I saw her, 'skankin out' on the dance floor...these British people and their skankin sef. Me I no understand o. This girl made it look good though. At the same time I saw him. I watched the both of them for a couple of minutes. Then I shook my head and chuckled.

*

I said before that I don't consider myself as having game. I am, however, really good at starting, maintaining and directing conversation. I'm also good at spotting opportunities. Finally, I have a few 'dont's' that I follow religiously.

*

1. Don't stand over a girl for longer than 2 seconds just staring at her dance if you don't know her. It's creepy and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. Don't subsequently lean in and say "I like the way you wine" (yes I can lip read). This only works if (a)she's desperate or (b) you are a celebrity or a splitting image of Tyson Beckford or Denzel in his prime in which case you can do whatever the hell you want.
3. Don't stand there for a full 5 minutes telling her inanities at 1 minute intervals.

*

I sipped my Jack and Coke and chatted with my friend, watching them out of the corner of my eye. Dude was persistent-I'll give him that. She walked away and dude made his retreat, head low. I downed the rest of my drink and excused myself from the conversation. I made for the bar once again, making sure to walk right by her. I placed my hand in the small of her back, ever so lightly

*

Excuse me. I met her eyes, I smiled. She smiled back. Hi, I'm Scribbles.

*

Melanie, was her retort.

*

You know you shouldn't come to places like this alone, weird guys tend to hover over you. My subtle indication that I had been watching her.

*

She laughed, I came with my friend, but she's over there with some man.

*

I looked over and sure as day, she was sucking some dude's face. I laughed, Seems like she's having fun

*

Yea enough for the both of us. I think I'm leaving soon.

*

Oh, but I just met you. Before you make that decision, let me buy you a drink, you look a little...hot.

*

She smiled, Okay.