I have her in the palm of my hand
Clasped firmly but gently between forefinger and thumb
Stroking slowly, fluidly massaging as I whisper
Breathe
Her eyes close, her body relaxes, she breathes slow, deep
I immerse myself in my task
Fingers feeling, exploring, caressing
And I feel her body begin to tense
So I whisper
Breathe
And she relaxes that little bit
As middle finger joins forefinger and stroke speeds up
Rubbing against that spot, front wall, two inches in, you know the spot
Her breath quickens, her eyes roll back,
Fingers gripping the sheets
And I whisper my gentle command
Breathe
She whimpers
She doesn't hear me, her hips buck, her legs kick out at me
I dodge and deflect the blows, fingers still buried deep within her
And now she's lost control, tossing, turning
Popping, locking
She should be a break dancer the way she's throwing them shapes
Lurching forward, falling backward
Grabbing on to me as if for dear life
Trying to find a comfortable position
Trying to get away
Verging on pleasure insanity, she begs
"Please, stop"
I push her hair off her face, look her dead in the eye
"I will stop if that's what you really want"
At the same time, thumb lightly flicks her clit
The shudders tell, me its not
So I tell her to
Breathe
She collapses
In a heap of sighs, moans, gasps, little cries
Resigned to the fact that there will be no comfort
Only pleasure, at its most unbearable,
Legs jerking, back spasming, gushing deliciously around my finger
And I tell her to
Breathe
She screams

So, how was your friday night?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

So I've been thinking about my sinking ships. The friend-ships and relation-ships. I've been thinking about my attitude toward them and I think it's necessary to make amends in some cases. You know, plug some holes.

Let me explain. I come with a disclaimer.

"Don't get your emotions involved with me because I am emotionally unavailable and since I have let you know this upfront, I remain blameless if you refuse to heed this advice".

I have lived by this. And I have hurt people with my "you do you, let me do me- you don't own me" attitude.

Case-in-point: Frisco.

My B-U-D-D-Y. SHE set the tone of the engagement "I'm not looking for anything serious". I concurred. A little further down the line, she wanted to be exclusive. I (grudgingly) agreed. And then, after a particularly busy week for me where I hadn't been in touch for a while, this conversation occured on facebook.

Hi, how are you doing?

I'm good, you?

Good, what have you been up to?

Work and other stuff. Been swamped this week.

Ok (long pause) I think we should take a break, for a while.

Umm..Ok, mind if I ask why?

...(pause..no reply)

Ok, if that's what you wanna do.

(long pause) I'm really sorry to be doing this on facebook. Hope we're cool

It's cool. We're good.

And that was that, I would miss the sex, but she would have her reasons I thought. Then a few days later on facebook.

Hey

Hey

I'm really sorry about the way I ended things. I hate people that do things like that on facebook. I didn't mean to do it like that

It's ok

It was just a spur of the moment thing.

lol..really, it's ok

(pause) so i take it you're not really bothered then

(at this point i'm thinking "hmmm, i have to be careful how I respond to this")

I'm sure you had your reasons, I'm choosing to respect them.

A couple of weeks pass, then I get this text.

"I miss you, but I'm not really comfortable to going back to the way things were. If you don't want anything 'official' it's cool, we can just be friends'

I'd had a bad day so I may have been a bit hasty when I replied;
"I don't think I'm in a place where I can commit right now, I want us to be friends tho"

So here's the thing. One could argue (and I have) that I did nothing wrong. But I know, if I really think about it, that I was wrong a lot of times. I was an asshole because I knew there were feelings, and I ignored them. Played the "you were warned" card.

I do similar things in my friendships. While I don't actively hurt people, I hurt them with my inaction and my total lack of emotional investment.

So, I have a few amends to make.

Hong Kong is a smoking hottie. I had a slight crush on her last year while at uni, but it was complicated. Her (crazy) friend seemed obsessed with me. Nightly 4am calls because she "just wants to talk to me", but she had nothing to say... yea I wasn't trying to date a 13 year old. Plus I wasn't interested in her. I was even less interested in carrying a conversation i hadn't initiated at 4am. But I digress.

Hong Kong, on the other had was the good kind of crazy, the fun kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that causes her to get a few of her girls together to jump me and put hoop earrings through my (no longer used but still open) earlobe piercings. She was fun, she was intelligent, and she had a killer bod which she LOVED to show off; very low cut tops that stopped short of her navel, shorts, minidresses and the like. But she still looked stunning in a t-shirt and sweats. So yes, I was crushing a little, but my aversion to drama dictated that I let it go.

Bucharest cancelled a date last monday and I called Hong Kong, we chilled. She's put on a couple of pounds, but still looks fantastic. According to her, she had fun and we should do it again, soon, and often. She's also no longer friends with crazy juvie chick. So... We'll see.

Shanghai is a complicated one as well. For a couple of reasons. One is that she is friends with Hong Kong. I don't think they're that close, but they would at least make small talk at a gathering. I actually debated putting her in here because when I wrote the first part of Options, Shanghai was definitely in the running; she was actually half the reason I started writing it. Now, however, not so much. A few reasons:

• She is trying to be a devout muslim. Now you all know how I feel about religious women.


• She is a virgin. Made that mistake once before. Never again.


• This is going to sound kinda mean. I met up with her last week (I had missed her). When I left, she texted me

"You make me feel weird. When I don't see you I'm fine. But when I do see you, I want to see more of you"

That was great, except that the more I saw of her, the less I wanted to see. This isn't due to a dislike of her by any means. There is a chemistry, an undercurrent that runs between us. When I'm around her, I want to touch her, hold her, kiss her. But every logical bone in my body screams against it, leading to a lot of frustration. So I think it's better to close the chapter, compartmentalize the emotion. Determine in my head that it's never going to happen. So, I guess, we wont see.

You already know of the hotness that is Sin(yes, its a city, fictional or no). Long toned legs, soft chocolate skin, firm DDs and an ass that was created on an OCD day. Yes, I think I may have mentioned the hotness. Sin is newly single. We have a history, we have chemistry and she keeps asking for another "massage". She's a little joker, that one. Again, she's out-city, which dampens my motivation a bit. But ...We'll see

And then there was Frisco. Frisco is my current squeeze and, to be honest, is head and shoulders ahead of the rest. Quite literally. She's nearly 5ft10. She's this chick. But we sorted that. Legs that literally go on forever, like f'real they never end, miniscule waist and the cutest little booty. She's totes hotness. (Ignore that last sentence if you're not Lowlah). She's one of the very few women who haven't begun to piss me off immediately after we've had relations. She lets me be me, all the while not forgetting to be her. The exclusive B.U.D.D.Y thing isn't so bad. Although it wasn't so easy when she was away for 3 weeks, but I get where she's coming from. Oh and did I mention, el sexo es incredíble. So... We're seeing.

If you were to ask me today what the predominant reason for my singledom is, my reply would be "Options, and the anticipation thereof".

Some people might suggest that it's simply down to a fear of committment. But I argue that its a more deep seated fear of settling. And as long as I have my options, it remains easy to avoid that which I fear. Some of you(Lowlah) have been privy to my weekend options/"dilemmas".  I'm going to give you all a more cursory overview. (Some names are changed in the interests of privacy and uniformity. I will be naming them after cities (not necessarily the ones that they're in)).

And we'll start with Dublin: eyes, legs and a perfectly round booty of toned muscle. Thick, soft, luscious lips always glossed.Met her at a friend's event, we talked for a bit, but she's out-city so she's sort of a minor right now. She's promised to come visit though, so how it's gonna go... We'll see

Another out-city one is Brooklyn...I first met Brooklyn a couple years ago on a bus. Her cousin was actually the one to approach me. I hardly noticed Brooklyn at the time. She was shy, young looking and honestly quite plain. I ran into Brooklyn again last month. My lord, she's grown! A knowing, confident smile, a walk that's mean like Simon Cowell, and a body that looks like she walked out of a Ludacris video. She called me a week ago out of the blue.

Hey, I'm going to be in london soon, we should hook up

Definitely. When?

Not sure, I'll let you know (yada yada yada, small talk, light flirting)

So how's the boyfriend?

Oh, he''s somewhere

*Antennae perk up* What do u mean? You haven't heard from him?

Well he's in Jamaica, I think he's coming back next weekend or something. I don't know. To be honest I don't really feel like I have a boyfriend. I feel like I'm borrowing him.

*Smile*In that case, maybe I can borrow you from him.

She laughed. We flirted a little more. I told her I wanted to show her what I use the entire wall of mirrors in my bedroom for. We'll see.

Bucharest is another one that's been in a relationship the whole time I've known her. Until now. Sexy little Romanian thing with a ghetto booty and killer legs. She gets *side-eye* from a LOT of black girls when she walks down the street. And she's a fiend for black men, preferably West African. We'll see.

Then there's Vegas. Fun, witty, confident, highly sexual, untamed. Smile like summer, legs to the high heavens, a fashionista, she is definitely eye-candy. She is also very aware of how hot she is and as such she freely exercises her right to be chased. The challenge. Shore salivates at the prospect of her. D gets weary. Met her a week ago at the clothing store where she's a sales assistant. We've been on one drinks date. Where it goes from here? We'll see.

Phew! And I'm only halfway through. Be back with the rest

Soundtrack to this is "Where I wanna be" - Donnell Jones

Meet Shore.

Well actually, you already met Shore. If you've read any of posts about sex or seduction, you've met Shore.

I've had an alter ego since the time when people generally develop alter egos. Puberty.

Back then, as you all know, I was a shy kid, quiet, wishing I was one of the cool kids. Seemed they had so much more fun. They talked to the girls. They weren't invisible.

So I invented Seyi, my twin brother, class clown, cheeky, confident. Everything I wanted to be (fake it till u make it eh?). Seyi wasn't invisible. He was anything but. He was deadly on the basketball court, and a hit with the ladies.

But he was still fake, so in intimate situations, ones that required emotive involvement, he was nowhere to be found. As a result, it was easy to get a girlfriend, but then I hadn't the slightest clue what to do with her. So it was safe to say Seyi was of no real use to me at that point, but he was there, watching, observing, learning.

Fast forward a few years. I started watching Boston Legal and Seyi finally found someone he could really learn from. Alan Shore became our mentor. He was everything we both wanted to be sans the aetheism, the fat and the mild psychosis (we had our own psychoses(sp?) to deal with). He was smooth, passionate in his beliefs, ruthless, a humanitarian, and loyal to his friends. He was also a sexual deviant. He was perfect.

Over a five season gestation period, Seyi was reformed, recalibrated and eventually reborn as Shore. Smooth, passionate, ruthless, sexually depraved Shore. I, D,adopted the humanitarian edge and the loyalty. The whole essence of the Bachelor's Conundrum is the struggle between my two egos. I'll let them introduce themselves.

D

I'm the poet, enamored by women, nothing but respect for them, putting them on a pedestal even. I am the hopeless romantic, the dreamer, the "together forever" guy. When I talk to a woman I look into her eyes; trying to find her soul. I work everyday to be a better man. A man who will continue to strive to be worthy of my woman's love till the day I die. This said, I am also aware of my worth and will not settle for anything less than that woman's best. I love God and thank Him everyday for grace, because I know I'm going to need it with Shore. I'm embarrassed to say I still get tongue tied around beautiful women sometimes, so I need Shore.

Shore

I study the Kama Sutra, D might refer to me as sex obsessed but I prefer to think of myself as more of a sex  and seduction scholar, constantly working on improving my technique. I sometimes talk to women with a glint in my eye and a cheeky smile. You could say I'm obsessed with long legs and skinny waists and will literally stop midsentence and do an about face if a cute set walked past me.

We have the same objective in mind. To find the perfect woman. Here's a classic conversation between D and Shore.

D: I need a woman who is smart, creative, funny, open-minded, effortlessly hot (but not averse to putting in a little effort every now and then),  pretty eyes, smile like a thousand lightbulbs, and a hot body.

Shore: yea and she better fuck like a pornstar.

It's an unusual but comfortable alliance, the two of us. We complement each other.

D is here to remind Shore to always treat women with respect even when he's behind her with her face in the pillow. Shore is here to ensure we get behind her with her face in the pillow :p.

And there you have it. These are the personalities that co-exist (peacefully for now) within my head. A few other tidbits of information regarding the twins.

-Shore, whilst being continually open to new experiences, can be quite methodical sometimes. He requires a clear head to ensure optimum use of his analytical mind. So he only drinks Coke and Rum. He finds that this drink loosens him up a little but does not impair his ability to think and act. Every now and then, someone comes along with a few cocktails, Shore retreats and D makes an ass of himself. Always within reason, as Shore pulls him back if he's about to do anything REALLY dumb.

-Shore doesn't do much writing in the summer... too many fine women about. D is more the introspective one. Don't expect too many steamy posts this summer.

...If somewhere within this post you managed to find the point of it, please let me know

I'm actually quite surprised noone got the hidden meaning behind my Bedtime story. It was actually meant to end there, but I'm going to add a little bit to it. Look for the further hidden clues.

Dangles stared at her, not sure how to proceed. On the one hand, he was very interested in the high she offered.  On the other, he knew the risks of indulging her.

She sensed his hesitation. She leaned over and held out her hand.

Tasha. Tasha Yöordekvolov.

Ah, he thought, the Slovenian. He'd heard about her. 'Round these parts she was known simply as 'Puss'

His first impression of her had been accurate. And his resolve was made firm by this revelation.

He took her hand.

Thanks Tasha, but no thanks.

***

Surely you get it now...

In other news, I had the time of my life this friday night. I love london.

So I'm walking through Bank station, making my way home and there's a busker (musicians play at various stations around london). A guitarist, he plies his trade well, plucking out notes and tunes that are literally, music to the ear.

But he wasn't the one that caught my attention. There was this beautiful black girl sitting on his amp belting out some Ray Charles. Her voice, powerfully gorgeous, her eyes closed, mouth open, elegantly stunning. I couldnt help but stop and stare.

I watched them for a couple of minutes. Then she noticed me watching.

Look we have a fan! she giggled. Come, come! her accent was sexy.

I obliged.

You're going to sing with us *huh?* Yes, yes you will sing.

And thus began the best hour of music I've ever had, we went from blues to soul to neo-soul, she  even did a freestlye de la francais.

Unfortunately, it had to end. But not before she gave me her number.

That was my random act of the week. What was yours?

I know, I know. Mr Dangles B M* Legs should have clued me to that fact a couple of decades ago.

But that's not what I mean. All my life I've prided myself on being a man working with a woman's mind chilling in a mans body.

Ok, that might need a quick explanation.

Growing up with 4 girls plus my grandma (making 5 females) and having the ever inquisitive and observant mind that I have, I learned to understand women, I learned to think like they think and I learned to understand their hidden meanings.

But most importantly, since I still remained unequivocally male, I learned to see both sides of the coin. Male issues from a female perspective, female issues from a male perspective and so on.

Most relevant to today, I prided myself on not being a subscriber to the double standard. Logic precludes it. And I am nothing if not conclusively logical. Until now.

It's LOML. Logic throws itself out the window when LOML walks in the room. Everything is different with her.

I find myself saying things I would never say, doing things I would never do, thinking things I would never think...feeling things I've never felt.

And now, as stupid as this may sound, I find myself starting to understanding the double standard where a man feels like he can do whatever he wants, but his woman needs to remain "pure".

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that way, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when she told me this morning (about midnight in her time zone) that she had a male visitor over.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for any amount of time will know that LOML also reads this blog, and thus, knows all about my numerous...ahem. I can hear the ladies asking now "Ehen?! How do you think she feels reading the stuff u write about?"

Maybe you're right. Or maybe men are just made extra insecure. Or maybe..

Or maybe something needs to be done...forget all this "when the fates align" nonsense. Truth is, I love this woman.  I really do. Maybe I need to make a move, take a stand, make a decision.

Or maybe I'm just being a man...

*B M = Between My

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I have a surprise for you, close your eyes I'd said.

Ok.

I moved from my position, lips between her thighs, over to the bedside table.

She was already dripping..my face was covered in her juices.

I picked up the little pouch and opened it. I pushed the button.

Bzzzzzzzzz

OMG I love you!

Rewind..

1 week previous, in the afterglow.

Just so you know, I'm not looking for anything serious. Unprompted

Ok then, so just a bit of fun? My response.

Yea I guess.

Left it at that.

Fast forward to friday night..

I come home and she's asleep in my bed. Blue patterned chemise, red lace panties. I "wake her up" with my lips between her thighs, till she's dripping wet.

I have a surprise for you, close your eyes

I moved from my position over to the bedside table

I picked up the little pouch and opened it. I pushed the button.

Bzzzzzzzzz

OMG I love you!

I ignored it at the time and carried on; tongue, fingers...bzzzz. Her legs shook...her body arched...her vulva convulsed... but I digress.

I have a question to pose to the ladies. This is a casual thing, a B.U.D.D.Y as Mocha, and previously Musiq put it.

Should I be worried?

I'm going to talk to her later today..just make sure we're on the same page. I'm open to things developing, but if there's something behind that statement, things may be developing much too quickly. I'm not sure I can keep up.

Another question.

Should B.U.D.D.I.E.S be exclusive? Does exclusivity make it more than an arrangement? Is exclusivity the required criterion for graduation from "arrangement" to "situation"?

She's a great girl. On the surface of things, not nearly as crazy as previous engagements. And there's definitely the possibility. But not quite yet.

So I ask again.

Should I be worried?

Know Your Audience

I hated studying French in primary school. I've never been a fan of the French. Or their language.

Still, I had to study it for 7 odd years. The moment I didn't have to anymore, I stopped. I've never fancied myself a speaker. Heck, I'm surprised when I hear some French and I can understand it, somewhat.

I surprised myself last night.

Two girls got on the train last night. One black, one Caucasian. The black girl was decent looking; tall, long legs, pretty eyes.

I sat and observed them for a minute, they were speaking French.

There is something remarkably sexy about French women. They seriously excite me. I don't speak French, but I thot I would go make an ass of myself in front of them.

I was a little surprised at how much I actually remembered.

Excusé moi, I'm sorry, je ne parle pas francais, but I had to come talk to you. Tu es tres belle. I smiled, I probably just murdered your language there, I'm sorry( I didn't say I was fluent)

She smiled.

I'm being rude. I didn't even introduce myself. Je mappelle Scribbles, comment t'appelle tu?

Vivienne, and you're not doing too badly she took my outstretched hand.

Enchanté. I kissed her hand

Life is a big stage and we're all playing parts. The key to success in many arenas is to know your audience. There are a few "gurus" out there who will say that a man should approach a woman within 3 seconds of seeing and being attracted to her. While I respect their reasons for that approach, I subscribe to a different theory.

A panther/lion/tiger or any other predator doesn't just bumble carelessly into a pack of gazelles. It will most likely go hungry using that approach. Instead the predator stalks its prey, watching, observing, looking for weaknesses within the group.

I follow the same principle. Watch a woman, observe the way she talks, carries herself; looking for my "in". And then, armed with a smile, charm, blackberry (she had one too) and that knowledge, I move in for the "kill".

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I promise I'll continue the Hunter story soon...Maybe today (I have the story in my head, just a matter of putting it on paper)

LOML is in Nig at the moment. I haven't seen her in over a year now and I miss her. I really hope her bid to do her Masters in London works out. But that's not the crux of the gist.

Popsie will be on his way to Nig this weekend...but let's start at the beginning. (This is why I don't write about LOML often, it tends to be disjointed and random - we have so much history...but I will try and make this as coherent as possible).

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that LOML and I are (and have been for a long time) family friends. There is a mutual trust/respect/affection that exists between our parents. Also, her parents love me, my parents love her... you can see where this is going.

Usually, I'm not into girls that my parents want me to be into (but you know this already), however, it's very different with LOML. I've known her since I was about 8, didn't actually speak to her till I was about 16 (for some reason all this time I thought she was dating my oldest friend Kay...but apparently I thought wrong :) - ok I've gone off on a tangent again)

Anyway, LOML and I didn't start really getting close until we were about 18ish. I was in MA (I know I said Michigan before...my weak attempt at misdirection), she was in...(I don't know if I have permission to disclose that info...but she was far away sha).

I remember vividly the first time I thought about her in a non-platonic sense. I had actually been telling her (get this) about a girl I was crushing on..I think I may have written something (a poem) and after she read it/or after I was done telling her, and she was done encouraging me to "go for it", she said "I think I could see myself falling for you".

Now, I had always had a mild crush on LOML but had always ignored it (like I said, I thought she and Kay had a thing). When she said that though, I thought about it for a second, then dismissed it.

Not too long after that, the term LOML came about. I don't know who coined it or which one of us used it first, but it was there. It was mainly a friendship term at the time. We remained platonic. Over time, however, it started to develop into something deeper. We were friends, with the benefit of knowing that we would always have each other. She slowly became the most important person in my life.

When I inevitably moved to England, we stayed in touch, and when my parents found out, they couldn't conceal their elation. We maintained we were just friends. The fact that she came to England a couple of years ago for a few days (under a week) that happened to include my birthday more than raised a few eyebrows.

Last summer, this happened and caused me to realise the depth of my feelings for her, and I have wanted her close since. We speak a lot more often, and I have since told her that I love her. Before you all get over-excited, we will not be engaging in the futile practice of an LDR.

I've talked about how my parents keep pestering me about the "girlfriend". "Where is she, who is she? blah blah blah". Well, now they append the question "or is it LOML?" with a wink and a twinkle.

So now, LOML is in Nig and Popsie will be in Nig by the weekend. Last week we were talking and he said (I still hope he was joking) he will interrogate her when he sees her. I begged him not to embarass the poor girl. And then, on the weekend, he told me he had spoken to her parents. Her dad had said  "LOML always knows what's going on in your family, I wonder why that is" and her mom had remarked something to the tune of "Don't you know she's already part of the Scribbles family?"

I couldn't contain my laughter. Now, the old man has a renewed resolve to interrogate her. Well, he has 1 day to do it in. She leaves the day after he arrives. I wish him luck! (not necessarily the good kind)

I hope this post wasn't too spasmodic. But as a random "finally", anyone that knows me knows I LOVE watches. I'm a watch connoisseur, if you will. I remarked to a friend that "Shoes are to most girls as watches are to Scribbles" (not that I have that many watches anyway). But I say that to say this. Look at the watch LOML got me for graduation last year!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="377" caption="My fave watch!"][/caption]

I bet you love her too now dontcha?

So I dont know what prompted this, but I suddenly got the urge to give u guysies a glimpse of Scribbles. So here goes:



So, there I am. Well, if I were to be perfectly honest, that's from 5 years ago. But it does the job.

It is my pleasure and a great honour to introduce those of you who dont know to Def Poet Stacey Chin:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfoQOenh9Cw[/youtube]

I LOVE  this piece. I also, for some reason find her really attractive :-P Enjoy.

...So my facebook status read a couple of weekends ago. *This is going to be a random post*

So, yesterday, a line from a song popped into my head ¶"When I fall in love, it will be forever..or I'll never fall in love"¶-Nat King Cole

I think it also features in Disney's Sleeping Beauty...not sure if that's the one. But this simple line made me come to a realisation about myself : I'm not a player, I'm just a seriously hopeless romantic... I keep my heart from love because if I'm going to give my heart to anyone, it's gunna be a forever situation... all or nothing at all, if you will. I just did a search on google for a quote describing the troubles a poet faces in finding love. I didn't find one. So I'm creating my own.

"It is easier for the village Idiot from Texas to become President of a world power than it is for a poet to find love."

Ok, don't quote me on that..that was rubbish. But you get my point. Poets, writers, artists, spend their time dissecting love, romanticizing it, putting love on a pedestal, making it an ideal, unattainable. Our imaginations run wild with impossible descriptions of women/men likening them to gods/goddesses and other lofty ideals. The fact that people tend not to measure up to these romanticisms causes us to turn cynic.

I was  on Dee Brighton's blog and a couple of things she said in her last post struck me. Like the paucity of good music these days. She's actually good, she goes searching. I don't remember the last time I uploaded my ipod with music, and I'm pretty sure when I did, I was adding classics like Teddy Pendi et al.

I also, by her inspiration decided to put my touch on shuffle and just listen (I've never done that before, I have moods, and certain music that matches the moods) it's proving to be quite a joy. One of the tracks I've listened to so far is something Your's Truly recorded a few years back. I might put it up soon, in all it's amateur goodness.

Zoe Saldana...hottie. I saw Star Trek over the weekend and I just couln't get over how hot she is (is it weird that I found the green girl in that hot too?) Zoe is the newest addition to my Celebogle list, joining the calibre of Megan Fox, the two Jessicas (Biel and Alba), and knocking Meagan Good off the list (sorry Meag, you're extremely hot, but this is just reflecting my tastes at the moment..you just might be back--yes, I assume she reads my blog).

I need new female friends. The past two weeks have proven to be massive disappointments. Following the sausage fest that was my friends bbq two weeks ago, I have to say I still was in no way prepared for what occured last friday night.

So a colleague of mine had a housewarming party. Cute little chinese girl with, presumably, cute little chinese friends. I arrived and saw...guys. Penises all around me. About 13 of them.  And chick was the ONLY girl. ALL NIGHT! I was severely disappointed, but I decided to make do. The chick was wearing this see through piece that i can only describe as a negligeé, white bra, black tights. I had been considering getting jiggy with her. This was the night.  This was also the night when I figured out that IT geeks who aren't getting any can be HUGE cockblockers. The boys were having none of it. She would come sit by me and we'd be talking and someone would come, holding their drink and stand over us. She kept dropping hints like "It's getting late..you guys are gna miss ur train"..and then she'd turn to me and say "the bus from here to your house is 24 hours right?"

But the boys were having none of it. Apparently, they had all been eyeing the prize themselves and they'd be damned if they let this black boy steal it from under their noses. Ah well, and I was looking forward to practicing my Mandarin as well.

Right. I'm going to stop there. Audio post should be up tonight.

Final Chapter

1. And once again, they made their way to the bar, hand in hand.

3S's

Her footsteps fell in immediately behind mine as I weaved a path through the maze that is a packed nightclub. I looked back at her.

Stop watching my bum,...you women, constantly objectifying, shameful!

And then she did something that surprised me. She grabbed my butt. Right there, in the middle of the club.

Ooh it's nice and firm! she exclaimed, a playful leer in her voice.

I have to admit that threw me for a second; in one simple move, one split second, she had flipped the script. The hunter had become the hunted. I decided to go with it.

I smiled. Now you owe me dinner. (Subtlety)

Haha, I'll tell you what. I'll get this round of drinks and you can buy me dinner. I was becoming increasingly aware that I had misjudged this petite beauty. She was a predator in her own right, skilled.

We got to the bar and she ordered the drinks; 2 JD and Cokes, on the rocks. She threw her head back, smiled at me and winked. She had just shown me two things, [a]she had been observing me and [b] she could drink with the boys. She knew the game well. I was impressed. I chose not to show it.

Be careful with that, I won't be kissing on no hairy chest. (Suggestion). She looked at me for a second, head cocked, a frown creasing her delicate features, and then a lightbulb went off. Oh! Joker! she giggled, and said no more.

As we waited for our drinks, I started to play with her tattoo again, running my fingertips along the lines and curves, grazing her skin (Sensation) while I told her about my day, the flopped barbecue, "Too many men" playing on cue...

Our drinks came and we left the bar. Some dude was in our spot (I was right to have taken her with me to the bar...damn scavengers). We found another spot behind a banister, and just danced close f0r the rest of the night, whispering things I cant start to remember back and forth, pulling apart briefly to take a sip of our drinks.

My back against the wall, her head on my shoulder, I said, I'm not going to buy you dinner.

She pulled away and looked at me. I'm going to cook you dinner, I said


You can cook? Ok then.


What do you um, what do you...if you don't stop staring at my lips I'm going to have to kiss you.

She smiled and leaned in.

Chapter 2

1. And she followed him to the bar. Scribbles beseeched her "What wilt thou drink?"

*

Amaretto and Coke please.

*

Oh you're a proper girly girl aren't ya? I teased. She laughed and leaned over the bar. The light caught her bare shoulder. I knew this move, I obliged her.

*

That's a pretty tatoo, when did you get it?

*

A couple of weeks ago, her reply

*

Oh, so it's still sort of brand new..., I traced a line with my thumb, classy.

*

Thanks, she smiled. I ordered our drinks and played my hand.

*

You can leave if you still want to, or you can come hang over there with me and my friends. I was helping her out. We need another girl to balance out the group anyway. She would be doing me a favor as well. We needed each other.

*

Oh, erm.., she looked skeptical

*

Like I said, you don't have to, but we're a fun group.

*

Ok, she smiled, can't hurt.

*

You should tell your friend where we'll be.

*

No, it's cool, I don't want to interrupt her. I'll send her a text. She handed me her drink and quickly rapped out a text message on her Blackberry (she got extra points for that). Let's go.

*

I handed her drink back to her and we made our way over to my friends. I made the necessary introductions.

*

Be nice guys, she just got dumped.

*

She rolled her eyes. I didn't get dumped, punched me in the arm with her free hand, my friend's just off with some man.

*

And I have to give it to my friends, they couldn't have played their roles better if it was scripted. The girls immediately made her feel like one of them (I have to give you women props on your ability to do that, only when you want to of course). Squeals of "I love your dress, where did you get your shoes" rang through the air. I let them have her for a few minutes while I went back to the bar and returned with another couple of drinks.

*

This served another purpose, she was inevitably going to try and find out things about me, and I trusted the girls to offer up niceties.

*

I wandered back into the group with the drinks in my hands and handed them to the girls, as a thank you and a peace offering, I was about to steal their 'fabulous'(their word) new friend away.

*

We retreated from the group and found a relatively quiet corner to talk. Your friends are nice.

*

I thought you might like them. They must really like you though, they're not usually THAT nice. A compliment to her.

*

After much small talk and banter, her hand on my chest she said, I feel like I've known you for years.

*

That was my plan all along, I replied, cheeky smile.

*

You are SUCH a player, she smiled as she turned around and settled into me.

*

Maybe I am, I wasn't going to lie to her, there's a few 'dos' I try to follow.

*

1. DO be honest and open, people tend to respond in kind, so if you're dishonest and closed off, she'll be dishonest and closed off and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. DO give her options, never make her feel like she has to do something, or she more than likely won't.
3. DO always make her feel comfortable. If she's at ease with you, she will be more likely to share her secrets with you, including her phone number.
4. DO make sure she laughs and has fun. That one speaks for itself
5. DO make it effortless, never try too hard, be yourself and simply apply your natural personality to the situation.
6. DO not assume at anytime that any of this is foolproof or guaranteed to work. If you fall flat on your face, dust yourself off, learn from it, improve your technique, and try again.

*

The DJ was playing some dancehall and then some r&b, seemed like he was playing it for us, as she wined (sp?) pon me?

*

Do you want another drink? I whispered in her ear.

*

Are you trying to get me drunk mister?

*

Never! I chuckled

*

Ok, one more.

*

Amaretto and Coke coming up, I took a few steps in the direction of the bar and then thought the better of it, before some random idiot comes and steals all my hard work. You coming?

*

She rolled her eyes and took my outstretched hand.

Chapter 1

1. And it came to pass, on the second day of the weekend, that Scribbles traveled a far distance to party with some friends.

*

Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was invited to a barbecue by a friend of mine. She has a lot of fine friends, so I'm thinking 'correct'. WRONG! We get there and there's like 6 people there, 5 of which are dudes. The stereo was blasting away and as we walked in Boy Better Know's "Too many men" came on. We almost died with laughter.

*

After much chitter chatter, and filling up on hot dogs and burgers and the like, we decided it was time to move this party to a different scene, so we decided to go clubbing. Well, they decided, I obliged and since I didn't have a book, I decided to make the most of it.

*

We got to the club and it was packed...*sigh*...ah well, making the most of it, I made a beeline for the bar; got me and my friends drinks (surprisingly cheap for a London club- not that I was complaining). Then I decided to scope out my surroundings.

*

That's when I saw her, 'skankin out' on the dance floor...these British people and their skankin sef. Me I no understand o. This girl made it look good though. At the same time I saw him. I watched the both of them for a couple of minutes. Then I shook my head and chuckled.

*

I said before that I don't consider myself as having game. I am, however, really good at starting, maintaining and directing conversation. I'm also good at spotting opportunities. Finally, I have a few 'dont's' that I follow religiously.

*

1. Don't stand over a girl for longer than 2 seconds just staring at her dance if you don't know her. It's creepy and you will NOT be getting her number.
2. Don't subsequently lean in and say "I like the way you wine" (yes I can lip read). This only works if (a)she's desperate or (b) you are a celebrity or a splitting image of Tyson Beckford or Denzel in his prime in which case you can do whatever the hell you want.
3. Don't stand there for a full 5 minutes telling her inanities at 1 minute intervals.

*

I sipped my Jack and Coke and chatted with my friend, watching them out of the corner of my eye. Dude was persistent-I'll give him that. She walked away and dude made his retreat, head low. I downed the rest of my drink and excused myself from the conversation. I made for the bar once again, making sure to walk right by her. I placed my hand in the small of her back, ever so lightly

*

Excuse me. I met her eyes, I smiled. She smiled back. Hi, I'm Scribbles.

*

Melanie, was her retort.

*

You know you shouldn't come to places like this alone, weird guys tend to hover over you. My subtle indication that I had been watching her.

*

She laughed, I came with my friend, but she's over there with some man.

*

I looked over and sure as day, she was sucking some dude's face. I laughed, Seems like she's having fun

*

Yea enough for the both of us. I think I'm leaving soon.

*

Oh, but I just met you. Before you make that decision, let me buy you a drink, you look a little...hot.

*

She smiled, Okay.

"Who's is it?" I asked.

I knew it wasn't mine. I strapped up every time and that meant I was 99.8% confident that I wasn't the father. She was 100% confident I wasn't.

"Some guy from back home. He just moved here. I went over his house the other day and fell asleep. I woke up and he was already going at it."

"Oh, what the fuck? Did he rape you?" In hindsight, this was a pretty insensitive question

"No I didn't push him off or nothing. I was half asleep the whole time"

"Hmm, ok, if you say so. I thought you said you couldn't get pregnant"

"That's what I thought, that's what I was told"

My people, see me see wahala. Na Baba God I just dey thank. Scribbles would have been looking fatherhood straight in the eye now. Chick said she'd had some complications earlier in life due to getting raped and had been told she couldn't have kids, and as such (since she'd just got tested) it was cool to engage in sex without protection.

Thank God for Scribbles Scruple 2.1 "No sex without condom". I'm not ready to be a father.

"Did you tell him?"

"No, I texted him but he's not awake yet"

"Ok, so what do you want to do?"

"I can't have a kid, I'm a mess, that kid would end up hating me, besides, it would get in the way of me and you"

"Woah, don't base your decision on me...do what you need to do, but at the end of the day, I have nothing to do with this baby, so it's your decision, think about it and make sure you're doing the right thing"

"Ok, but I'm not keeping it"

"Ok"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, just a little caught off guard"

This is the same chick that wanted to film us . I just have God to thank. Much much lower thanks goes to Durex. This chick has also said stuff like "we should get married" ,"i wanna have your babies" etcetera etcetera.I never even asked chick to be my girlfriend. Ask me why I still mess with her? The sex is amazing!

In other news, I've updated Entertaining Insanity with another audio post. Once again, ENJOY!

Also embedding this "Halo" cover by Ahmir...tell me it's not better than the original

I have come to hate that word.

*

I was going to do a post on something else today, but after reading Bumight's Who is a Jand Awon Boys and Original Mgbeke's Stuff Britgerians/Naija people like, and also a comment blogoratti made on my ...got my mojo back post I thought I might need to clear up a few Scribble Myths.

*

Bumight said:

*

a JAB's got swagg...I dont. I don't even know what swagg is. I have a confident, intelligent, warm, jovial personality, I have a style all my own, and it works for me. And I have my smile. Additionally, the same old man that said "you could learn how to dress just from checkin' my fresh" said, if I remember correctly "swagger is...a liabilty".

*

He's either sporting that polo shirt ... Either the dress shirt and sweater or the dress shirt and suit sans tie....I dont, and have never owned a Polo shirt, yes I do own 2 shirts from T.M. Lewin and a few others from Hawes & Curtis but these are all work clothes, so if I did turn up at a club wearing em(with the tie most times), it would be because I did just get off work...my weekends are mine and as such I wanna be free, you would generally find me in a T shirts, jeans and comfortable shoes on the weekend. I also don't own any clothes with prominent logos.

*

their sexual resume is quite em...a long ting...my sexual resumé is actually quite modest, you may be surprised to find.

*

I think I may have also mentioned that I dont drink champagne because I dont like the taste, so you won't find me with a flute in my hand. I'll be that guy in sweater and jeans standing/sitting at the bar, pouring back Jack and coke, and possibly flipping through the pages of a good book.

*

Original Mgbeke made a lot of valid points in her post, she did however generalize a lot. I'll put it to you Mgbeks that not EVERY Britgerian (don't even know what that is) is guilty of the crimes you've accused them of. Also, a lot of the things you've listed are simply cultural differences. When I first moved here, I found myself asking some of the same questions and making some of the same observations. On your (i think 9th) point about Jand/Nig pple doing effizy sturvs, I happen to know a few people who flew from Maryland to Birmingham, UK a couple of years ago, for a PARTY. Left around noon the next day.

*

Also, I don't have a British accent, if u listened to my audio post you would find that my accent is quite...well, unique. BTW, who told u ASOS is cheap? Mehn, me I don't shop there cuz it's flippin expensive! £70 for a flippin jacket...which is online so u dont even know if it's proper quality or not. Hiss.

*

Finally, blogoratti and his comment about 'game'. But this post is getting rather long so I'll leave that one for another day.

I got all of your comments to my phone but couldn't get here to reply. 33 comments is much too much to respond to in my comment box so I'll give my response here:

kmplx... I know and have met quite a few really stand up, good looking (no homo) guys; that would suggest to me that you're either looking in the wrong places or through a myopic lens

cerberus...gracias amigo. Amen indeed

Qube...hehe..thanks, definitely gunna be happy hunting

simplidivine...don't mind me, that's how u know I'm reading a book. Any words I may have picked up while reading tend to infiltrate their way into my writing.

Shona...thanks, and I'm well on my way to recovery

Jayla..i'll find em wherever they're hidden

TDVA...stop hating..besides, me being the wolf in wolves clothing that still looks like a sheep, they'll prolly be pushing their daughters on me :P

OPTIMISTIC...that may be true, but it's the hunter's ability to tame the bush meat, calm it down and escape unscathed that makes him a professional

Confessions... I said at least 5, but if you want I can start to take your route, just give me the co-ordinates. And stop frontin...i know you're planning out how you're gna stalk all the bars, libraries, coffee shops, department stores, asdas, tescos, train stations, and Oxford street this weekend.

Bibi...well I'll be wandering that way in a couple of months. And I daresay, telling ur friends to stay away from all Nigerian men this weekend might be asking a bit too much hehe.

Smaragd...Oneitis isn't contagious, no. As for your warning, while it's more specific and viable than Bibi's, it won't work either, since their guard will be well down and by the time they realise what's happening, they'll be sitting accross a table from me at Starbucks, sipping on a frappucino, laughing. Melancholy ko...raincoats as u know, are a must for me

Gochi...thanks, as for the sickie, I'd say go for it. We are on this earth but once

BSNC...yup, all the ammo I need.

Roc...in this recession? however, a lot can be said for Waitrose. I was in there a couple of weeks back and I saw one of the foiniestesete (yes, an actual word cannot describe her) women I have ever seen. Shame I was in a funk at the time.

Avartsy...lol...i'll be careful, btw, I made your pineapple fried rice last night, de.lish!

Neffie...thank you very much mum. Monsieur Scriblé is def on the prowl

blogoratti...funny you should bring that up. I never considered myself having much game at all. Maybe I'll do a post on that.

Repressed...thanks, to be honest, I don't quite mind being the prey. It can be fun.

Jayla...I could step off the curb tomorrow and get hit by a bus. I could get pushed off the platform in front of a moving train. I could slip and fall in the tub, banging my head against the edge. All that is just as likely as me dying from swine flu. But El todo poderoso es mi padre. I'll be ok.

miss.fab...lol..dont worry I'll keep you posted on the 'shenanigans'.

Scarlet...it's not my elbow I'm looking to grease, if you get my meaning *wink*...thanks!

Tigeress....believe me, if it was possible to share mojo I would, but it comes with a unique identity marker.

Abeni...i'm right here luv

Naked Soul...london be warned indeed.

It all begins tonight, going out with a few friends. I'll let u know how it goes!

Oneitis, I think, is what Neil Strauss called it. Matter of fact, let me find the actual definition for you.
*
From the Urban Dictionary:

Oneitis, is that social malady that results in a feeling that this person is totally special and unique and therefore one must not mess up anything with them. These confused "messed up" feelings then often mess up the chances of a person seducing their romantic victim because after all thier emotions tell them that they cannot be too careful, gentle, and that they cannot "act too foolish." Often, Oneitis also confuses a person by making them worry too much about what other people will think of them or worse what thier romantic victim will think of them, and thus they simply cannot do what is necessary to seduce thier romantic prey.

*

It goes on to describe what one must do to get over this "disease" and all that blah blah. For me, I just needed to realise that I was suffering from it. I'm now on the road to recovery, discovering, quite paradoxically, that we are all alike in our uniqueness and as such, we are all the same, ergo there's a few billion more of her in this crappyhappy old world.

*

And it is my mission to find as many of them as I can in my lifetime. I mean, I live in London, I run into at least 5 beautiful women on a daily. Victorian scientist Sir Francis Galton once conducted a study aimed at creating a "Beauty Map" of Great Britain; guess which city he found to have the best looking people. If you guessed Manchester, Birmingham or Nottingham, you guessed wrong.

*

There is such a diverse range of beautiful women that I run into daily. White(British, Polish, German, French, American, Australian), Black (British, Nigerian, Zimbabwean, Zambian, Ugandan, South African, Ghanian), Hispanic, the tall oriental chick with the never ending legs. The tall blonde in her late 20s on the train with no ring on her finger who wouldn't stop smiling at me. The beautiful African chick at Zara who I can't wait to see out of her work clothes or even the 100 or so 20something womanly distractions at church.

*

So, starting this thursday, with friday off work, giving me a 4 day weekend, I go on the prowl- bars, libraries, coffee shops, department stores, asdas, tescos, train stations, Oxford street etc- armed with nothing but charm, a smile and a blackberry. No place is sacred, no place is safe.

*

Smile ladies, Scribbles is back!

So it would seem some people have noticed that I haven't quite been myself for a while. I won't say I've lost my Mojo...just having a little trouble finding it a the moment :P

That said, I may or may not be taking a short hiatus to find it. We'll see. In the meantime, I'll do this crazy 8s Meme that BSNC tagged me in

8 Things I look forward to

1. Thursday evening...No work till tuesday
2. My next paycheck, last one don already wan finish
3. New York City/Boston/The tri-state area in the summer
4. Xmen Origins: Wolverine
5. Heroes..tonight
6. Moving house..living by myself
7. Buying my house (later this year/early next year-gots to take advantage of recession)
8.LOML

8 Things I did yesterday

1. Went to church
2. Shopped for food
3. Got me a brand shiny new basketball
4. Got "evaluated", I think.
5. Drew up a new diet and exercise plan (health nut...sue me)
6. Was summoned to my aunt's house to search for and dispose of a dead rat
7. Took a hour and a half long bus ride each way to get there
8. Didn't find the rat

8 Things I wish to do

1. Not this meme :P
2. Listen to Bibi's (now deleted) audio post
3. Write for a living
4. Drink, everyday
5. Sleep longer than 5 hours a night
6. Pretty women
7. Drive at 200+ miles an hour
8. Write for a living (weird, just as i typed that I got an email from a friend telling me about a writing job)

8 shows I watch

1. Heroes
2. Eli Stone
3. House
4. Boston Legal
5. Smallville
6. Chuck
7. How I met your Mother
8. 90210

8 Bloggers tagged
1. Miz-cynic
2. Sexkitten
3. Miss Lowlah
4. TDVA
5. Just...Toluwa
6. Vic Moreau
7. juiceegal
8. cerberus