Sheep

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"....we have a girl here for you. Very beautiful yoruba girl, very intelligent, God fearing. You will like her. Her name is Tolu.."

I had stopped listening. This was the day I realised that my mother doesn't know me. If she did, she would know she had just disqualified the girl. The fact that she came "highly" recommended by my parents meant I wanted nothing to do with her. But let me start at the beginning.



I've always had an independent spirit. Always wanted to make my own way in the world. So when, at Ann Arbor State, my dad would constantly say things like:
"You better get good grades. I'm not wasting my money on you"
"Do you know how much it costs to send you to school in America?"

I found it irksome to say the least. So one summer I made a decision, I was going to work and save up enough to pay my own tuition. By the start of fall semester, I didn't have enough saved, so I decided,(of course without informing my parents) to take the semester off.



Inevitably, they found out and freaked. Thought I'd dropped out of college. No son of theirs was going to be a college dropout, so plans were put in motion to move me to a place where they could keep a closer eye on me. Good ol' UK.



Then they start asking me what my plans are on getting here. I'm thinking "I don't know. It was your lousy idea". My mom asks me if I have a girlfriend there that's making me want to stay. I said yes.

I was dating this lovely little Italian girl called Mary. She's still to date the best girlfriend I've ever had.


"Italo? Italian what? Last time it was kokoye(Spanish), now its Italian. You won't go and find yourself a nice Yoruba girl. Anyway, don't worry...we have a girl here for you...."


I thought she was playing. She wasn't. When I arrived here it quickly became obvious that my mother and, even more enthusiastically, my father had decided that this was the girl they wanted me to be with. They had hatched this scheme together with my auntie, who was co-pastor with her husband at the church that we (and Tolu) attended.


My auntie had also took it upon herself to announce at church, repeatedly I was told, that her "first son", a "handsome man of God" was arriving soon. And then when the female population of the church started showing me undue attention, she thot it was a spirit she needed to bind. I'll come to the ladies in a minute.


So I met Tolu, and she was actually a really great girl. I could kick it with her easily and might even have considered dating her if my parents hadn't ruined her chances. A shame really. My dad still asks from time to time if I stay in touch with her. He's cute like that.


On to the ladies. Now, (un)fortunately, it turned out that my uncle pastored a church comprised mostly of students. This meant that about 50% of the congregation was eyeing me most sundays. The flirt in me flourished under all the attention.


You see, I love hugging a woman, sneaking my hand into the small of her back and pulling her close. Smelling her perfume. Its a beautiful thing that became my sunday morning ritual (Except I had to stop wearing light colored shirts cause make up aint always easy to wash out. ) And I've been told I give the best hugs. So I guess I might have given these women more reason to swoon. Not my intention. I was just being me.


This said though, I would never have dated any of them. The scandal of pastor finding out that his nephew was in bed with the choir mistress. Mehn, I still fear God small o! Before I become the topic of sunday sermon.


Funnily enough, Tolu was about the only girl who didn't get caught up in the craze. We would laugh together at all the ridiculous attention I was receiving.


Her: What the hell do these girls see in you? I mean, you're not bad on the eyes and all but there are finer boys out there

Me: I dunno o! But free dem. I'm not complaining




I did sit back and think about it once. "Sheep" was the word that came to mind. These women weren't attracted to me. They were attracted to the possibility of having something that everyone else wanted. For them, it was the thrill of the chase. And for me, it was a tremendous ego boost.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

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31 comments:

TDVA said...

am i on a roll?

TDVA said...

i am, i am!!!

BSNC said...

shooot 2nd..oooo why now

BSNC said...

at least am second. would have done the macarena dance, but u have not taught be yet..

Miss Lowlah said...

Hmmm SMF, e be like say you fancy yourself no be small. Lol. If your swagger is anything like your writing, I can't blame the girls sha.

Confessions of a London gal said...

Claiming me spot!

BSNC said...

lol your parents are something else.. but the tolu girl seems nice. how did your parents spoil her chance

BSNC said...

so you schooled in yankee.....
okay am not trying to sound like your dad, but do you still keep in touch with tolu( i know i be amebo)

Confessions of a London gal said...

Scribbles!
The way you scribble all over this girlssss! And they dont see through you?
(Sigh) We girls sha! We too dey like bad boys!

You know me now, I gat ur back! Go oun soun! Norrin do ya!

Gee said...

5th or 6th..whichever joh...
claiming my spot too

Gee said...

hqhahahahahaha...omg..nuthin irks like "parents matchmaking me"..hahaha I almost dint date my boifrend bcuz she LIKED him...i thot it was too much sef!
not to talk of matchmaking...loool..I remember this christmas wen my mum thot i dint like bois and my aunty then offered to find me a suitor(i sed no oo)...lool...these parents r just funny sha!

RocNaija said...

Lol.. Mothers just never get the mesage do they..? lol..

No worries.. I bet she's just looking out for your interests..

TDVA said...

lol. poor girls. weird that Tolu stood outside it all and still u denied the poor girl a chance, when she only had the misfortune of being liked by your folks.

i second miss Lowlah. u fancy yourself no be small thing!

scribble,me.free said...

TDVA
Yes you are...

It wasnt just that my parents liked her. She spoke to them...A LOT. which would have meant they would inevitably be involved in my love life..couldnt have that.

BSNC
havent really spoken to Tolu in awhile...but I'm sure she's well

Miss Lowlah
lol...not really, just call em as I see em.

Confessions
actually..I think they do see right through me...it's part of my appeal ;)

Gee
thanks! i'm glad someone gets me. parents and love lives are a bad bad mix...they should only be allowed to be involved in the wedding..and even then, boundaries need to be set

Roc
My ma will learn. I'm training her small small

Just...Toluwa said...

Gosh, my mom tried to get me with someone and i as only 20...I was wondering..y d rush. i know am d only child...but relax. And then i hate it when they think church boys r good! oh my freakin gosh,..they r the worst..cant stand dem! anywho! u prolly loved the attention...

Just...Toluwa said...

people dnt think am crazy...free me jo!

blogoratti said...

Tremendous ego uhn,lol,nuff said.
I see you...

Qube The Wordsmith said...

Lol @ ur folks hookin u up...
In my house wen any girl comes ova as soon as she goes its "so that's her abi" n I'm lik "I hav no idea wat u on abt" "Ur girlfriend" "HABA! No geez...."
its frustratin man can't they c we can do fine on our own??

Scarlet said...

lol scribbles the eligible bachelor!!!

bumight said...

hmn...are u really sure they ruined Tolu's chances?

this post reminds me of one of my "almosts", i'll pst a link if i have time to look for it.

Buttercup said...

u deserve an award for most frequent blogger..seriously!

off to read..

Buttercup said...

lol..wow..ur parents have been on ur case for a while..and u say u r just 24..

so..did u decide not to date tolu just cos u wanted to, uh, defy ur parents? cos she seemed like a good enough potential..

lol @ giving the best hugs!

Afrobabe said...

If only the girls knew how close they came to danger...

naijagirl said...

I feel you on this; most times, just cos the parents suggested the person makes you look at the candidate with an eye for "No"

man, what I will give to stand nearby and watch all the "flocks" running towards the sheep

Bibi said...

hmmmm.....so, you give the best hugs huh? i'm a hugger myself...anyways i'm glad those silly girls throwing themselves at you hasn't made your head too big. lol

Bibi said...

good for you that you figured out the make up secret. i once gave a guy a hug and my lipgloss caught on his shirt collar. his girlfriend freaked out! it was very amusing though. lol

Lady Koko said...

AHHHHHHH.....*THE THRILL OF THE CHASE* I CAN RELATE...except i forever choose to remain the chasee(easiest option)......HMMM.....HOWEVER....
*THE ALLURE OF THE TAKEN*.....i might have a fault in that!
I LIKE TOLU ALREADY..she sounds like a girl i'd kick it with too!
i dont understand this strong need for independence tho.....AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GLADLY ALLOW ANYONE TO PAVE THE WAY??? I MEAN...I'LL WORK DAMN HARD TO MAINTAIN UR EFFORTS!!!!!! is it ur pride??? BECAUSE IF YOU ASK ME.....I'D SAY.....IT TAKES A STRONGER MAN TO SAY *thank you*...AND WHY DO I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING THAT YOU WILL BE THANKING ME FOR MY "worthless" TWO CENTS! LOL
P.S: *there will be no point in blowing* *luck never guaranteed no man the pleasure of having koko ..you see.....GAME DID! XOXO

Spartakuss said...

dude you are too hilarious!! truly a player like that huh?!
be careful about the small of the back,as sensitive as it is trickily seated next to a sister's A%&! one slip and you are roast!

scribble,me.free said...

J...T
lol..HEY! i'm a church boy..well..ish

blogoratti
its too big, it's too wide, it's too strong, it wont fit, its too much...i talk like this cause I can back it up...(so what)I got a big ego

Qube
you have patience sef..u let them come to your house...no woman comes to my parents house...i dont even give the number out

Scarlet
so I've been told

bumight
i'm not sure what you mean...i'll wait for the link

Buttercup
i do, dont i?

well, Tolu was a genuinely good girl..one of the very few Proverbs31 women I've met...I wasnt good enough for her

and I do give the best hugs

Afro
I know right?

naijagirl
u get me?

Bibi
lol...you women and your akoba pancake..maybe we should get together and "hug" one of these days

Lady K
I have no problem saying "thank you". But I hate being berated over the fact that someone has done something for me.

haha, that's a shame Koko, because I never did consider myself as having much "game"...just confidence, charisma, sincerity, sexuality and the ability to develop a connection with anyone i meet

p.s. thanks for your 2cents

Spartakuss
a "player"? i despise that word...i consider myself more a connoisseur

and I dont "slip" unless she wants me to

bumight said...

i meant u dont sound like her chances are ruined, then again, what do i know *mischievous smile*

Almost doesn't Count.... agent D'diddy is ur man.

simplidivine said...

what a shame..i can see i have to put in more of an effort to keep u grounded..all these babes keep inflating ur already overballoned ego..

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