CELIBACY IS OVERRATED!

• To the girl on the Jubilee Line on last night around 630ish wearing the Miss Sixty Jeans..NICE JEANS! :P
• Two people I meant to tag yesterday but couldn't; Sexkitten, I cant reach your page at work, and simplidivine...something to get you started....now get to it!
  

First off, I would like to offer Chari and Burracup my sincerest apologies. I know say na condition cause crayfish to bend. But that kind condition sef...e get as e be o. Lol

This post was actually inspired by a comment Chari left on my Shower head post. I understand where he is coming from.

However, I have noticed that quite a few of you here on blogville are biting the celibacy bullet. It is to you I have come to play devil's advocate.

Let me tell you a story; its about the time I decided to be celibate (you see...not addicted). Not the 12-18 one, since some of you are discounting it. This is a recent occurrence of that disgusting disease called "holdyaselfitis".

After the threesome, I had something of a "malfunction". After my award winning performance, of which I am still proud to this day, uncle willie no wan work again o. As in, what kind of calamitous situation was that.

I realized homeboy was not stimulated by just one woman anymore. He wanted more. Haba! Its not everyday 3somes come around now. And I couldn't have him malfunctioning. Totally unacceptable. So I decided to starve him. Maybe when he's hungry he will appreciate whatever comes his way.

I began what was supposed to be a 9-12 month 'sex fast'. I lasted 7 months. You people clap for me o! See the temptation I resisted. The summer months were the hardest. So I buried myself in my job. I was working 70-80 hour weeks. But even at work, temptation followed me.

There was this chick I call Randy(that's what I called her to her face), weedhead chick; she was always high. She would come in in the morning fresh off a spliff, morning break, spliff, lunchtime, splifftime, afternoon break, another spliff. And when it was time to go home, she spent 10 minutes rolling up the perfect reward for a hard days work. She was always trying to get me (her 'american boy') to come share a blunt with her. But I don't smoke at work. And I knew where it would lead. She had been making eyes at me, asking for massages, fine fine Jamo girl with thick round Jamo booty and flat stomach. My thing was already standing.

Or Anabel, the half togolaise half german chick I sublet my apartment to. Hispanic features. Always opening up when I went to visit in low cut tank tops. Her fresh half caste dubbledees smiling and winking at me.

Or Tobi, with her tongue ring and ass that made you want to hallelujah. That yansh had a life of its own. I gave in small there sha, I gave her head. But I didn't penetrate.

So I ask you, my dear blogville family. Was it worth it? All that poon just gone with the wind.No! I mean junior is trained now, but the months and months of blue balls, five fingered shuffles...not worth it for me.

Is it worth it for you? Sitting there aching. Having wet dreams that leave you frustrated and depressed?

Ladies, don't you wish you had a strong, tan man kissing your belly right now, fondling your breasteses, stroking your....

Manhandling you. Bending you over, entering you roughly from behind. Filling you. Causing your entire body to spasm. Don't you?

Fellas, I don't even need to talk to you. I trust you won't let available nookie pass you by. If you do, sha send them my way. I will resolve the issue, nice guy that I am.

So, if you have someone you can call to fix your plumbing or if you know someone that needs their plumbing fixed, lend a helping hand. Give them a call. Don't be selfishly celibate, share and share alike,

Anyone need a plumber?

This has been a public service announcement.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

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