Dont hold in your farts, because they'll travel up to your brain and you'll just talk shit(Why nice guys deserve to finish last.)

I should preface this post by saying I was drunk when I wrote it, however, when I sobered up and read it, I thot it was hilarious. Also, there is SOME truth in there. THIS IS MY COMEBACK POST. I'M ALLOWED TO BE IDIOTIC!

Nice guys are the biggest assholes you will ever have the displeasure of meeting.

I used to be a nice guy, and here are a few reasons the proverbial asshole is much better for a womans sanity.

1. The asshole will use you and then be an asshole about it. You might feel bad about it for awhile. But you will also have the pleasure of hating him. It will make getting over it easier. And the you can move on with your life.

A nice guy, on the other hand, will continue to be nice to you. He will lead you on because he doesn't have the 'heart' to break up with you. Eventually, when you are seriously emotionally invested, he will get freaked and run. Leaving you wondering what YOU did to chase him away. You think, "he was such a great guy, so something must be wrong with me". The healing process in this situation is a lot more difficult and dragged out because now you have to figure out what you need to forgive urself for (oft times nothing). This can wreak havoc on your mental health.

2. If a guy who knows you like him is extra nice to you sometimes and distant at others, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! Here are a few common misconceptions:

But he's so nice to me: rookie mistake. He's nice because he's a 'nice guy' and wants to spare your feelings. Your heart will end up broken. Run!

But he shows me all this attention every now and then. He knows all my favourite things and does them to make me happy: he's trying to distract you from the fact that he's not interested in you. Not only will this result in dragging out your hurt, but these things he does will make you like him even more and when he inevitably stops calling, your heart will end up broken. Run!

He hasn't tried to have sex with me because he 'respects me': now that's bullshit to power of horse manure. If a man is attracted to you, he will try it and push it as far as you let him. Since I'm fluent in the language. Let me translate:

- I think we should wait to have sex. Sex complicates things and I respect you too much to have it damage our relationship.

Translated: I really don't see myself with you. I'm hoping you get the hint, but in case you don't, I won't initiate sex with you and will even resist to a degree so that when it doesn't work out you won't label me a user/asshole, and even though you're heartbroken, it won't be my fault. Heartbreak is inevitable. Run!

An asshole on the other hand, if he's not into you, will treat you like shit. Sure it'll hurt for a while. But then you can hate him and get over it. You'll think "he was a pig. He wasn't really worth my time" and the healing can begin.

Consistently nice guys are chauvinists who believe that the 'fairer sex' can't handle being turned down.

now, I hope I've made a good enough case for steering clear of nice guys. They are the devil.

Ideally, date a guy who treats you well (not nice) and is genuinely interested in you. (He has to have stated this in no unclear terms). But until you find that knight in shining armor, if you must date, date the people that in the end will give you a reason to hate them. It makes it easier to let go.

This has been another installment of Total BS brought to by Scribbles of The Bachelor's Conundrum.

sWeET DREAMZ!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

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