I know, I know. Mr Dangles B M* Legs should have clued me to that fact a couple of decades ago.
But that's not what I mean. All my life I've prided myself on being a man working with a woman's mind chilling in a mans body.
Ok, that might need a quick explanation.
Growing up with 4 girls plus my grandma (making 5 females) and having the ever inquisitive and observant mind that I have, I learned to understand women, I learned to think like they think and I learned to understand their hidden meanings.
But most importantly, since I still remained unequivocally male, I learned to see both sides of the coin. Male issues from a female perspective, female issues from a male perspective and so on.
But that's not what I mean. All my life I've prided myself on being a man working with a woman's mind chilling in a mans body.
Ok, that might need a quick explanation.
Growing up with 4 girls plus my grandma (making 5 females) and having the ever inquisitive and observant mind that I have, I learned to understand women, I learned to think like they think and I learned to understand their hidden meanings.
But most importantly, since I still remained unequivocally male, I learned to see both sides of the coin. Male issues from a female perspective, female issues from a male perspective and so on.
Most relevant to today, I prided myself on not being a subscriber to the double standard. Logic precludes it. And I am nothing if not conclusively logical. Until now.
It's LOML. Logic throws itself out the window when LOML walks in the room. Everything is different with her.
I find myself saying things I would never say, doing things I would never do, thinking things I would never think...feeling things I've never felt.
And now, as stupid as this may sound, I find myself starting to understanding the double standard where a man feels like he can do whatever he wants, but his woman needs to remain "pure".
Don't get me wrong. I don't think that way, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when she told me this morning (about midnight in her time zone) that she had a male visitor over.
Those of you who have been reading my blog for any amount of time will know that LOML also reads this blog, and thus, knows all about my numerous...ahem. I can hear the ladies asking now "Ehen?! How do you think she feels reading the stuff u write about?"
Maybe you're right. Or maybe men are just made extra insecure. Or maybe..
Or maybe something needs to be done...forget all this "when the fates align" nonsense. Truth is, I love this woman. I really do. Maybe I need to make a move, take a stand, make a decision.
Or maybe I'm just being a man...
*B M = Between My
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
24 comments:
scribbles......
u define what u want from her, relationship is 2 way and u of all pple should know better than to create a separate standard for her... what u do she has a right to do so u better start sitting up and be a man..because as far as i am concerned a man is someone that cares about another person feelings and does what is needed to make things work not one that hides behinds double standards and even though he knows he is wrong
I want to laugh...eh! LMAO!!! Someone was catching a feeling over what exactly?? :p
That's what you get for...make it official already! You know you'll forever compare other ladies to her and that would really suck for you. Really. Lock that ish down! NOW!!!
oh wow, thats cute "forget all this “when the fates align” nonsense. Truth is, I love this woman. I really do."
i think deep down inside you know what it is you want and waiting will never get u what you want, so don't let it be a woulda-coulda-shoulda type situation, that would really suck. live for the moment.
BBB... i think u misunderstood me. I don't subscribe to the double standard, she is free to do as she pleases as am I, but for a second, jealousy crept in, it doesn't change the fact that she can do what she wants, but it makes me think. I would love to tell her that she can't do things, but I'd be wrong to do that so I won't. At least until I know that I'm capable of making the same sacrifice.
c_u_o... lol... not yet, I don't deserve her fully yet.
Peaches... i'm with you on that, no shoulda-woulda-couldas, no regrets.
i hope i'm not assuming wrongly, but this thing that seems like you're confused about, is there anything you can do about it? & is it something you're sure you want to do?
bruv....go for it...
There's nutin worse dan been in love and not acting on it...
you know how i feel about this LOML business. u might think that u dont deserve her, but better late than never!...cos i doubt she's sitting back waiting for u to come round.
dude, u suppose marry this LOML girl before u give urself hypertension. hehehehe
Please check out my recent post on http://thecounselorandherthots.blogspot.com/
Awww Scribbs was catching feelings...lol.
U know what I think it's such moments that make u realize just how much u care deeply 'bout a person.
I knw u say u dnt deserve her fully...but, I think u shd let her know how u feel and start working towards deserving her fully.
It's one thing to love...and another to let the one you love walk away because of u waited too long.
What ever you decide, just make sure u do something!! otherwise you might find that its too late.
This LOML must really be all that. when you talk about you go out of this world. She is a really special gal...
wow you grew up with 5 babe, how cool is that..lol. We would have exchange our life for a while...
OH GOSSSSSSSH!!!!!!! I FEEL YOU RIGHT NOW.....EXACT situation here!!!!! YES!!! IF YOU FEEL THIS STRONGLY......and it has only grown throughout the time u guys were even apart...THEN MAYBE U SERIOUSLY NEED TO START THINKING ABOUT MAKING A DECISION.....if you dont make it *EXCLUSIVE* then it will be just that.,..*NOT EXCLUSIVE*.......
then again..i hope this isnt just SELFISH JEALOUSY!
YOU know what you want.....IT REALLY ISNT AS COMPlicated AS WE MAKE IT OUT TO SEEM SOMETIMES.....if you want summin that bad..GO GET IT....simple!
your doing EXACTLY what i did..expecting someone you care soo deeply about to wait ON YOU TILL YOUR READY.....they start to ask themsleves, "BUT WHY DOES IT HAVE YOU BE ON HE'S TERMS....WHY SHOULD I REMAIN EMOTIONALLY STUCK UNTIL HE IS READY TO TAKE A STAND" eventully they are like " FUCK THAT.....HE CLEARLY IS NOT DULLING HIMSELF....NEITHER WILL I"...then in the process of them trying to CATCH FUN...THEY START CATCHING OTHER THINGS..e.g..feeligs for someone else.....THEN THEY REALISE THESE FEELINGS ARE JUST IF NOT MORE THAN THEY FELT FOR YOU.....so guess what..."YOUR OUT..HE'S IN. BINGO" *good for them....bad for us* looooooool
p.s: THIS HIT HOME SOO MUCH I HAD TO COMMENT TWICE! sigh
my first thought when I saw the title was... no shit... lol. So you're a man, boo hoo. Swallow it. I believe in equality. You should only give what you're willing to accept from another person. You can't expect her to be good while you're naughty.
you know what to do :)
Chile, if we all waited on what we deserved the world would be a very miserable place. Would the lady be averse to a change in the status quo? I doubt this and so I reject that as a valid argument. There are such things as long engagements/courtships. I'm just saying. *off to write my agony aunt column* lol
You know, each time i read about LOML, i wonder about that myself [innocent bystander]. I know you've mentioned that she reads your blog and i often think 'she reads all this stuff and yet you love her but somehow uall are not/can't be together for whatever reason.' I always wonder what she thinks and how she feels about it all. If she thinks you are also the LOHL [does she?] how do all your escapades make her feel?? Ah well...
Anyways...i'm a woman and even i understand the slight jealousy you felt.
A shoulda/coulda/woulda situation will truly suck but u alone KNOW whats holding you back.
Ah no need to preach to you.. I hope the lovely ladies above me have konk'd some sense into your manly head. Lol
bArOquE... there is something I can do, and I'm sure I wanna do it. I'm just not sure I want to do it YET
bumTight... hehe... you're right, and I don't expect her to..i don't expect anything from her that I dont expect from myself
Qube... you're right, but there's still the atlantic to contend with
Tigeress... don't worry I'll be ok
Miss Enigma...she knows how I feel..maybe I need to do more than that
Scarlet... thanks I'll do that
BSNC... lol..yes she does things to my mind
Lady K...hey baby! lol..you're right, it's not complicated...but it is an issue, the distance i mean. I understand the risks...i'm still evaluating whether or not I'm comfortable with them.
Miss Lowlah... I don't expect anything of her. but I can't help it when those things crop up
Abeni... i know i know
c_u_o... lol..thanks.
Repressed One... I have thought about it, but dismissed it because she never said anything. We probably need to have a talk.
miss.fab...lol...they have definitely "konk'd" something
Scribbles my love,
How long have you been waiting to grow up enough to "deserve her". Maybe you've reached as far as you can go alone and now its time for you two to grow together. No one is perfect darling....yes not even you (quite close though)
I doubt she sits at home thinking of how wonderful she is; im sure she has insecurities as well but you two have known each other for soo long its time to lock it down already
P.S- and yes this was painful to type *sigh* but if you love something let it go.....
lol, I loved the title--like "oh shoot, I just realized i am a man afterall".
she reads about your escapades and you expect her to pretend its nothing?
you love her, you really do, but you havent made your move--you scared she's gonna say no? scared its gonna ruin the relationship you have now? scared she's gonna demand for things you may not be able to give up? or just plain scared
Sometimes, i find it just plain "cute" when I see guys exhibit that attitude.
i still love the title
Awh, you're in love. and yes Men do tend to be and feel a little jealous when we have other male friends, but trust me from a female that loves and respects her man, some females just prefer male friends, but we know our limits and MAKE our male friends know theirs as well!
Ag
Scribbs what are you waiting for biko?
"Forget all this “when the fates align” nonsense. Truth is, I love this woman" You have acknowledged your feeling, wonderful first step.
I stopped reading comments after i read where you mentioned. "I don't deserve her fully yet"
Don't want to inflict my own sadness but like you i was waiting till it was right and i hoped one day I’d be good and ready after all i expected we'd see each other for years. But a week before he could turn 27 he was taken. Life's too short scribbles if you feel this way about the girl. Do something about it.
No one deserves anyone out rightly we just work towards it and make the best of it. Good luck!
Post a Comment