http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/30/maderid_street_view/ is where you will find the story relating to that photo...That is just nasty. You need to hold that shit in. This caught my eye and i'm blogging about it because it brought up a repressed memory.

Monday, August 28, 2006. London Carnival.

I've been walking around for 2 hours with my lady friend trying to find the Nigerian float. No such luck. I've called my boys. Got their voicemail. They must still be underground. I call again. Voicemail.

Ah well, I've been parambulating for too long. I'm going home.

Walking down one of the side streets off Notting Hill Gate, lady in tow. Guy doubled over between two cars. His friend looking on. My preoccupied mind thinks nothing of it. There's a lot of drunk people around, they're probably just messing about.

As I walk past them, big splash. Lady screams. The smell hits me like a brick wall. Tears fill my eyes. I grab her by the hand and we run. I haven't been back to carnival since.

Shit I can smell it now as I type this. What the fuck is wrong with people??

I want to make a video of the two of us, she blurted out randomly
Err
I want to have something of you to take with me. To remember you when I leave.
Erm, I'm not quite sure that's such a good idea

What? You dont trust me?
Trust has nothing to do with it. These things find a way of getting out. I mean, I have no problem recording it. But we'll have to delete it as soon as we're done watching.
But I need to have something of you. To keep me warm on the cold nights.
Take a blanket, I laughed. I'm sure there's something else I can give you.
Ooh, she squeaked, can I have a dildo mold of you?
Err, I guess.
Cause they do that you know?
Yea, I know, does Madamme Tussauds do it?
I don't know, I'll find out. Yay!



That's a conversation I had last night on msn. What? A video to take with her ke? Is she mad? Doesn't she know I'm going to be someone important?



And then I'll have some chick holding me to ransom over a "sex tape"? Do I look like Ray-J? Or R.Kelly?...i mean, I'm a freak...but the audience I'm willing to perform for consists of 1 person...or maybe 2...imagine if my pastor saw it!!

Actually, thinking about it in retrospect, I might have reacted a little prematurely. Might be kinda exciting to have a tape out there, somewhere, and then run into it one day. I'd have to be holding the camera tho. My face wil not be in it. If anyone can recognise me by my other "features" then so be it.

She can have her face in it if she wants. She can even have the one copy.

Anyway, I still have some time to think about it. We'll see...

I'm here, I'm down, time to seize the day
Come, come quick, come join me
Here, right here, right down below
Same building, same roof, me you and she
There you are, you my heat
My need, captured in a tight black skirt
Turn around, let me see those hips
Oh heart attack, take me right now
But come first, come to me, let me hold you
Close the bathroom door, lest my heartbeat escape it
I want you; I need you, right here and right now
The white shirt, silken, easy buttons pop
Careful, you'll have to face her after
To you desk, co-workers, clients, boss
Flushed, chipper, and my entire fault
Lingerie, such soft things, you knew I'd come
Your dare taken, your bluff called
I will fuck you, I like that you are shocked

Your black long hair, a weave, I care not
Splayed like that against your bright lemony skin
Your eyes shiny, losing focus
As I find my destination inside you
Pounding, taking, giving, fucking
Your nipples hardened, pink little rosebuds
Leap up at me
Ah, joy! Ah, torture! Pure sweetness
The sounds escape your lips
Don't let them go
Here, I'll catch em, I'll keep em with us
That skirt won't come off, it doesn't have to
I'm where I need to be, you are getting there
Footsteps go by, possibly hers
You too lost to hear, me not caring
We are not safe
The pressure of my blood runs sparks, I feel the heat in my head
You are the reason I'm alive, it does not matter if I die
I am with you, I tasted you, I pleasured you
That is it. That is all.

by Anon

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Quick Edit:Calling out all those "bloggers" who are at the bottom of my blogroll. If you haven't updated in over a week, this is for you. Name and shame!

• TDVA - 3weeks ago...and before that it was months!
• Badderchic - 2weeks ago...you are excused since u told us why
• Lady Koko - 1week ago...why you keep daddy waiting?
• MDM - 1week...you cant keep us waiting like this
• Beloved - 1week...get on it! i know u have material!

I had another topic for today's post but people want to see how me and Karma worked out.

She walked away from me, leaving me puzzled and distraught. Why had she been sending me so many signals if she was just going to drop me like a bad habit. Karma really had a twisted sense of humour.

The next week, she called me.

I'm having dinner at mine with a bunch of friends. It would be great if you could make it.
Of course. Count me in. A hopeful smile spread across my lips

So I turned up at her place. I was early so there wasn't many people there yet. But there was one person.

Smf, I'd like you to meet Tony. My boyfriend.

Oh, hi. I shook his hand awkwardly. I couldn't believe what she'd done. I told her I didn't want to meet him. Its so much harder to steal someone's girlfriend if you know him. And even harder when he's a stand up guy and you actually like him. And he was. And I did. She had warned me that I would. Nice to meet you.

A few other people turned up. And over the course of the night, my anger and frustration melted away as I got to know Tony. I could see why she couldn't leave him. He was a man deserving of her. And now I couldn't bring myself in good conscience to continue to try to steal his girl.

So, I didn't get the girl, not this time. I'm content to stay friends with her. For now



Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Introduction: I wrote this a few months ago. We had done the song and dance, we were attracted to each other. We did lunch, we did dinner. We did concerts, we did shows. We did a lot of stuff together. I started to develop real feelings for her. So one day...


Im looking at her ,

Shes looking at me

I can see the fiery passion of desire in her eyes

She wants me just as much as i want her

I lean in...

shes like "No"

Im like "but..."

She's like "No"

Im like "what's wrong?"

Shes like "i got a man "

I'm like "so?"

shes like "no we cant"

Im like "YES WE CAN"

"hes a good man"...

"I'm a good man...and i can make you happy"

"im happy with him"

"you'll be happier with me"

Thats when she started getting tears in her eyes

reciting that famed Erykah Badu lyric:

"now what am i supposed to do now i want you in my

world...how can i

want you for myself when im already some1s girl...i guess

ill see u next

lifetime"...

"But i wanna see u now!!"

And then she turned away, tears rolling down her cheek

But still her walk is making me weak

And im thinking "what the hell is going on?"

And then it hits me... Karma!

that BITCH!!

Shes getting me back for all those times i played around

All those times i was like "im just not ready to take this relationship to the next level" Or "this is getting too heavy"

Or "yes u do look fat in that dress"

Trying to start a fight

Hoping they break up with me

And i shoulda known that Karma

that BITCH!!!

She was just storing that shit up

Knowing one day she'd get me

One day it would be my heart on the line and she would hang me out to dry

and seek her vengeance

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

My woman is Karma

that BITCH



Back story: I had told her in the beginning that I didn't want to flirt with her. She was precisely the kind of girl I could fall for. And I wasnt trying to fall. Besides she was involved. She didn't listen. We communicated mainly via email. These are the relevant bits...


Smf:She's totally self-absorbed and self satisfying. I'm not going to go into a rant but suffice to say, I dont see that in you.

Karma's Vengeance:So ok, that's your ex...any current?

Smf:no, you have anyone in mind?

KV:well, let me be honest, I would love to keep a stand up guy like you for myself...but I think that would be greedy... I know a couple of nice girls, what are your specs? lol

Smf:I will restrain from flirting with you because I have flirted with "involved" girls before and it has always ended badly =P. My specs?...well let me see i haven't really thought about this... 36-24-42 with perfect skin, faultless toned legs, eyes deeper than the pacific and a smile that would light up new york in a blackout... i'm easy

KV:damn! And I match that description as well

Smf:too bad about that man of yours

KV:lol - too bad indeed


And despite my initial misgivings, I flirted continuously with her. And shamelessly, she reciprocated. And then one day ...

Im looking at her

Shes looking at me

I can see the fiery

passion of desire in her eyes

She wants me just as much as i want her

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Friday: leave work at 5:02pm. Damn, two minutes later than planned.

Head to the Laundromat, need to pick something up, walk in. Cute girl standing to the side, seems she's waiting her turn. I go to get in line behind her. She waves me forward.

No, I'm not in line. Go ahead

Oh okay.

I walk up to the counter.

Picking up a corset..brought it in yesterday

I look back at her, she's smiling, a slightly puzzled smile

Yea I like to dress up on the weekends, I say with a sly smile

She laughs

So what are you picking up?

Not a corset

Ha! You got jokes. Actually I'm picking it up for a friend

Mhmm. Girlfriend?

Haha no. Just a friend

Are you Nigerian?

That obvious eh?

No actually, I saw your badge

Oh, are you Nigerian then?

Nah, I'm Ghanian.

Cool. I love Ghanian women. I gotta run, but you should give me your number

Ok. 07blah. My name's Rita, what's yours?

Smf. Nice meeting you. I'll call you

As I walk out I send her a text:

You're cute!

From

Cute guy in the laundromat.

Saturday: Sleep till noon. Call Rita. We talk, she's into me. Cool. I'm seeing her tuesday.

8pm. Headed to a bar in Soho. Green Park tube station. I see this girl, she looks familiar

Excuse me

Oh hi! she smiles, how are you?

Oh I'm great. This is embarassing, but where do I know you from?

Uni, and it's ok

Oh right! We were never formally introduced. I'm Smf.

I'm Tonia.

Nice to meet you, where's ur accent from?

Ghana

Get outta here! That's not a ghanian accent

She laughs, Yes it is

That's good then, cause I love Ghanian women

So what are you up to these days?

I teach, her big brown eyes smile at me as she bats thick eyelashes

Listen, I'm off at the next stop, but you should give me your number, we should hook up, I choose my words carefully

Yea of course. I'd love to

She hugs me, lingers a little long. I almost miss my stop. I'll call her tonight

Sunday:1:30pm. Church was good today. Headed home. I'm starving, should have had breakfast. Stop at BK Canary wharf. I go to sit down. There's two girls in the corner. One is smiling at me.

Hi, She says

Hi, I smile back

Do I know you? Have we met?

OMG did this girl just use a line on me? She's cute, I'll let her off, her friend's cuter though.

Err, I'm not sure, did you go to Blah Uni?

No. I guess you just look like someone I know then.

Yea. I guess I have one of those faces. I'm Smf

I'm Fi, she takes my hand, and this is my sister Lulu

Ah sisters! That's a lovely name, where is it from? directed at Lulu

Fi chirps in, It's Zimbabwean

Really? I love Zim women

That's good! Where are you from?

Nigerian

kewl, do you want to sit with us?

We sat, we ate, we talked, we laughed.

I'm going to visit them at their little spinster pad near the Wharf next weekend. Fi insisted on it when I told her I'd never had a Zimbabwean woman cook for me. Wish me luck!

I just started talking to this one girl a couple of weeks back. Thought it was getting serious. This sort of thing always happens when I start to get serious with a girl

I started typing this yesterday but didn't post it. Then I read Sexkitten's TOUGH LUCK post this morning.

It doesn't take much to put me off something and when it's something I'm already less than inclined towards, it takes even less.

So as I sit here and listen to my flatmate and his girlfriend of 5 years argue bitterly over something as trivial as him wanting to watch a rugby game, I wonder, is it worth it?

She doesn't live in london so they dont see each other often; maybe two weekends a month. He goes over there sometimes, but mostly she comes here. And everytime she's here, I hear them argue. Everytime.

I'm sure they were happy once. I'm sure there was a time when they didnt fight. When everything was bliss. When it seemed as though love had conquered all. But all I see now is bitterness. fighting, backbiting, pain, crying, frustration.

My flatmate and his girlfriend aren't peculiar either. My other flatmate and her long term boyfriend,as far as I know, fight weekly. But they're long distance between the US and the UK so they have a different problem. I have friends as well (not many, couples tend to encourage coupledom too enthusiastically), and they dont seem that happy in their relationships. He's cheating, she's cheating, they're both cheating. You go over to visit them and the air in the room is so tense you're afraid to speak for fear ur words would fall to the ground and shatter.

No one tells you all of this going in. There's no contract to sign. No fine print. We basically just give away our most valued possession, in hopes that it will be reciprocated. And reciprocated fairly. No guarantees.

Maybe Sexkitten's philosophy is the right one. Keep things uncomplicated. You're dick, she's pussy. Or vice versa. But then, this still poses the problem of one of y'all catching feelings. Which is why I was so ecstatic to stumble accross this

And looking seriously at this, and at myself. I find that maybe i'm not as much of a risk taker as I would like to believe. Because to be honest, risks like this, scare the shit out of me. Especially now.

I have recently been caught up in a fairytale of my own. Maybe this was the wakeup call I need. So, someone tell me. Relationships, are they worth it?

Stay sexy, in, and out of bed.

Scribbles the Bachelor

p.s. is there a reason why there's a booty call agreement and not a relationship agreement? maybe because one is more valid than the other? just a question