my BLOODY valentine- a bad decision, a stupid commitment, an act of duty, a thing of honor

Like any great mini-series, there will be a short hiatus (at a crucial moment) while i talk about recent developments. I will talk about the 3some next time.

Valentines day has never really been a day i celebrated. I've been happily single every vals day of my life :)...oh the money i've saved

Not so this year!!

Well i'm still technically single, but this past weekend was definitely the dumbest and most pointlessly expensive weekend of my life.

It started last Tuesday; my friend, a promoter, called me to say he needed me to come down for his Valentine's event on Friday 13th(the date should have been a reasonable enough deterrent for me). He needed me to perform some of my poetry as part of the entertainment for the evening. in exchange i'd get in for free. i gladly obliged. BIG MISTAKE!

Everything went well for most of the night. my poetry was well received, and i was having a reasonably good time; had a few drinks, and then it came time for the date auctions. My friend had asked me if i would be one of the auctionees. Once again, I obliged.

Got on stage and the bidding started at £5..fair enough..but then it ended at £11...11 flipping pounds. I could hear my ego crash to the ground, but it was all good. I know how the ladies do.

Then came the stupidness. The girl I'd been eyeing all night was put up on stage, and the bidding commenced... I should preface this by saying that two other girls had already been on stage and had managed a collective bid of £45.50. But anyway, we were bidding on a different calibre of girl now.

Auctioneer: Do I hear £5?..about ten hands went up, including, of course, yours truly.

Auctioneer: OK...£10? same 10 hands went up

Auctioneer: Seen...ok i'm just gunna shoot up to £20. a couple of hands dropped out but there was still a formidable number of bidders, and i was still in the running.

Auctioneer: £30!! only a couple of hands dropped...but still a number remained.

Then the high roller in our midst decided to up the ante; "£50!!" he proclaimed. At this point, I still had some of my wits about me, not many, but enough that i hesitated for a second(this was the only time this happened), and then tentatively put my hand up, "£55".

"£60"- The high roller was not to be outdone. My hand went up "£65".

High-roller played his first hand: "£100". (now I should mention that the total that they were trying to raise that night was £100). It was just him and me now.

This went on for the better part of 30 mins, and me, fuelled by a determination only 5 double Jack and cokes and half a bottle of wine can give, stayed with it, me and the high roller; he kept throwing up outrageous bids and giving me a defiant look, expecting me to be discouraged, but he had underestimated how stupid vast amounts of alcohol can make me.

I will spare you the sordid details, but eventually, the bidding was stopped at £310, me being the victor because we ran out of time. it may not seem so, but i say £310 without the slightest hint of non-chalance. That's a lot of money!!! For a date i'm probably not even gunna go on, different city. They said it's going to charity, but i know better...they are, after all, my friends. Now, i feel obliged to pay this fee, i made a commitment. a commitment to garri and epa for the rest of the month. And that began the start to the worst valentines day of my human career.

In addition to this, i sorta had 3 girls on the go, so i spent the rest of the day in hiding (well except, I [jr] got a little lonely and we called one of them up :p). but now I will have 'man-flu' for the rest of the month. Adios

Related Posts :