Apples, trees and other apples

I was talking to my baby brother the other day and in the course of that conversation, I realised I can no longer call him my baby brother. He's 15 but until that enlightening conversation, 15 had just been another number added on to his age.

The boy now shaves, talks in a baritone and is about an inch taller than me. But even with all that, he was, in my eyes, still a baby.

So imagine my shock when I asked him how his Valentine's had been and he told me he had spent it in hiding.

Why?

There were too many girls on his case, something like 6 or 7. He wasnt sure.

Sho'o..

This same little boy that just yesterday peed in my face when i tried to sit him on his potty was now gaming chicks. What?? The apple obviously doesn't fall far from the ..erm...other apples.

Knowing he couldnt see my proud smile over the phone, I put on my sternest big brother voice.

Bachelor:'You shouldnt treat girls like that, you know. How do you think they feel?'

He laughed at me. *Sigh* Oh well... I tried.

Bachelor:'I hope they're all fine sha, u know u have a legacy to live up to.'

Mini-Bachelor:'Ahn ahn, of course now'

Bachelor: 'Ok o'

Then, as an afterthought, knowing that the parents would have avoided the 'Birds and the bees' talk like the plague, I did possibly the bravest thing I've done this year.

B:'Just be careful, dont...'

Mini-B: 'Yes Bachelor, I know'

B:'Ah ahn let me finish now...make sure you...'

Mini-B:'I know, I know, I know...I've managed to escape having this convo with mama and papa Bachelor and i'm not having it with you'

B: 'Hmm, ok...just let me say this. You know your parents, your father especially. Sha just know what you're doing'

*Phew* That was close.. I didnt wanna have that convo either. The thought of my baby brother getting down..*shudders*

The funny thing is that this shameful behaviour is not restricted to the men in my family. Just 3 weeks ago, my little sis came up to me at church all excited and with a trace of disbelief in her eyes.

Bachelorette:'Bachelor, we're one year today!'

Bachelor:'Wow, haha really?'

To her boyfie: 'Kudos to you sir, they should give you an award..that you were able to stay with this one for so long'

This is the same sister that has never been with anyone longer than 3 or 4 months. The same sister that in July or August was telling me. 'Its long jo. I'm tired. I'm bored. I need something new'.

I just felt sorry for the guy. Especially since I like the guy... he's cool peoples; he treats her well, he takes care of her and he's a genuinely nice guy. My parents even like him. Yes, shock horror, he's met the parents.

So I'm glad it's working out. I think dude is even thinking about marriage...which is cool, like i said, he's a good guy. But it's just kinda weird...my baby sis getting married. Going to a wedding I actually give a piss about. You can be sure my mother's cries of "So Bachelor, where is your own?" will get even louder...but that's another post.

So anyway, yes, the 'Tree' in this story. Good old pops. That man is some next level underG. When we were younger and lived in Nig, pretty much everytime an 'aunty' came to visit, my mom would be like "hmm, another one of your dad's old girlfriends". As in, player player!... dude got married at 24 so it's not like all these women were stretched out over a long period. He even dated my aunt...as in my mom's sister! for a short period. I'm so glad they never got married...so glad she's not my mommy. I love my auntie but she can be a nag sometimes...

I digress.

So anyway, the point of today's story is that I am not the way I am by choice...it's in my DNA.

Don't hate the player, hate the genes.

The Bachelor

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